I will be referring to this “friend” as “Marie”.
Marie and I met in our freshman year of college. We started off pretty well with the (preciously) shared interest of BTS (the Kpop group). At first, she seemed like a good person/friend, someone I thought I would have a good relationship with. However, things started to get a little rough by the end of our sophomore year of college. We have a mutual friend [20M], I’ll be referring to as “Anthony”, who started having feelings for Marie after a series of unfortunate attempts for romantic relationships. I knew Anthony since high school. Me, Marie and another girl discussed the fact that Anthony is brewing some feelings for Marie. Marie made a clear point that she’ll never be interested with Anthony and that her standards are high. She also had specific requirements like her future boyfriend should be virgin, Asian and cute. She talked poorly about Anthony and that gave the idea that she’ll never date or be interested with Anthony at all. On the other hand, Anthony isn’t Asian nor a virgin and also not the best looking dude out there. So what’s the connection? Me, Anthony and Marie used to hang out a lot together until the two of them became their own thing. Note that Marie has conservative-religious values. And I totally respect her values.
That’s the context of the scenario. Ever since they’ve been hanging out by themselves, Anthony has been telling me all of Marie’s complaints about me. One of them was she felt insecure because I was blessed with more breast volume. Then they would go out to eat ramen and had the intention to invite me, but she said that “not to invite [me] because she’s busy anyways”. It was unnecessary of Anthony to tell me that but I would’ve appreciated an invite even though I was busy. Being a pre-medical student myself, I’m drowned with so much material to go through. Then early in the Spring semester of sophomore year, Anthony and other aforementioned friend were talking to me for Marie, saying that Marie felt that I was distancing myself from her. I was surprised upon that revelation because I was minding my own business, studying and all, then I get this? Naturally, my trust began to fade away because of this kind of information exchange.
Everything broke when I told her that I was dating current boyfriend. She was on her phone and looked at me with eyes that screamed “I don’t care”. Then I proceeded to tell her that I was having a sexual relationship with my bf. She put down her phone and asked me if I was proud of it and also told me that I wasn’t supposed to have sex before marriage, etc. And because I distrust her, I told her not to tell her mom (our mothers were also college acquaintances). Marie walked out on me shortly thereafter because she expected me to trust her after all that has happened. We also tried patching things up but even though I explained to her my side of the story, she didn’t reciprocate.
Fast forward among all other fakery and trust issues to just a few months ago. Literally a little bit less than a year after I told her I was dating. Anthony and Marie became close enough to touch each other then one time, Anthony called me in the middle of the night about birth control because he and Marie had unprotected sex an hour before he called. Though I wasn’t surprised but the fact that she didn’t walk the talk made me dislike her a lot. Considering she’s been holding up her values high up on us ever since I met her. And yet she’s the one upset at me for some reason. I want to clarify then cut things off with her but I don’t know if that’s a good way of handling this situation. I also found out later that the reason why she got all upset at me was because I was always studying and didn’t make time to hang out with her. She didn’t bother asking so how could I have known? Other than that, I’m really lost.
TLDR: girl bottled up her “me-induced” insecurities and lack of attention, told me that pre-marital sex is a no-no, then commits pre-marital sex herself a year later. Hides the truth and her relationship with Anthony. She’s mad at me for some reason.
I will appreciate any kind of advice. Feel free to ask questions or have me elaborate/clarify on the problem.
Thanks so much in advance!
Submitted July 27, 2019 at 02:21AM by plushfluff https://ift.tt/310bh7y
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