I (F29) am losing attraction to my (M29) partner, but I'm not sure how to tactfully address this with him without hurting his feelings

I'm hoping I don't come across as an awful and shallow person, but I'm starting to lose some attraction to my partner. We've been together for almost five years and this is becoming more of a turn-off as we get older.

I love his personality and love him as a person, but I'm losing attraction because he doesn't take care of himself, put in any effort to take care of himself, or our things.

I have a few examples off the top of my head. He complains about his body acne ALL OF THE TIME. He picks at it before bed and it leaves blood marks on our sheets and pillowcases or leaves marks on the mirror from him picking at it. His body acne does not bother me in the least, but blood and goop on our pillowcases and mirror does. He makes no effort to clean it up or just not do it in the first place. I also bought him body wash for his acne after he complained over and over again, but it just sits untouched. I've offered to make a dermatologist appointment, but he doesn't want to go, he just wants to complain. Even the fact that I'm offering to make appointments, buying body wash, and reminding him to wipe off the mirror makes me feel like I'm living with a 16 year old.

He eats horribly. Lots and lots of fast food. We only eat nutritious meals because I make them. If I leave for work he's back to eating junk and makes jokes about how he eats junk when I'm not there. It's just a turn-off and isn't funny. We both ate crappy in our early 20s, but I've started to take care of myself more as I've gotten older and he just doesn't care. It's just a huge turn-off. I'll mention diseases that run in our family and that it's important to exercise and eat well to prevent that and he just shrugs it off. He gripes about public health and how people in the U.S. don't exercise and overindulge all while he just puts junk into his body and doesnt make any effort to get off of the couch.

He'll wear socks/shirts with holes or stains unless I buy him clothes to wear. If I don't buy him clothes, he'll just continue wearing raggedy shirts from high school. I don't particularly care how he dresses, it just isn't always appropriate for the venue and is kind of embarrassing. I also don't want to constantly shop for him like I would for a kid and want him to be an adult and walk into a store if he needs to and buy something for himself.

I really do love him, but I guess I just want to feel like I'm with an adult instead of a teenager. I don't want to outgrow each other, I just want him to act like an adult and not feel like I have to take care of him and do everything for him. He appreciates that I eat healthy, exercise, and try to look nice for him, but he doesnt do the same in return. I'm not sure how I can tactfully bring this up without hurting his feelings? I don't want to change who he is or bring down his self esteem. I love his personality and him as a person, I just want him to grow up.

Tl;dr Partner doesn't put in any effort into taking care of himself and it's becoming a turnoff as we get older. Oftentimes I feel more like a parent who is taking care of him than his GF. I'm losing attraction because of this. I want him to grow up, but I'm not sure how to tactfully tell him this without hurting his feelings or making him feel like I'm attacking him.

Submitted July 25, 2019 at 11:53PM by throwawayyyyy11118 https://ift.tt/2JVUBbi