Absolutely terrified. We’ve known each other since we were kids. He’s my best friend in the whole world first. Before romance. I’m afraid to lose him, I’m afraid of how I’ll lose my entire social life, I’m afraid financially, I’m afraid of my mental health/self worth deteriorating. And so much more.
He is a wonderful person who knows and loves me better then anyone. Except when he’s drunk. He has a severe drinking problem that he won’t listen to a word about even if he’s sober. I can’t handle being screamed at every single night. I can’t handle him getting so angry and him storming out in the middle of the night only to keep me up worried for hours until he comes home and passes out next to me with no resolution. I can’t handle trying to talk and calm him down and every word I say being cut off. I can’t handle being personally attacked every 30 seconds. I can’t handle not having money for bills and racking up debt because he spends all of it on alcohol, not just his but mine.
Someone help. It’s not as easy as just doing it. I’ve never been so scared in my life. This sucks immeasurably because I adore and love this man, but he won’t change his ways. My heart has already broken.
Tl;dr my life is going to fall apart if I break up with my boyfriend because we have built one together and I truly love him more than anything. But his alcoholism is 100% abusive so I know I need to at least consider what my life might look like without him but I don’t know how
Submitted July 25, 2019 at 08:05PM by yougottabeyoubabe https://ift.tt/2Yj8KDp
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