In a very interesting turn of events, my GF came clean and told me the truth... sort of.
So after reading all the replies to my last post, I decided to take few days to really consider my next steps and what to do. I didn't tell my GF I know about Jack, and I didn't let it show in any way. However, last night, during unrelated debate about trust and how I don't tolerate liars, she said she needs to tell me something... and told me about Jack. Voluntarily. Without me asking or bringing it up.
She said she has been seeing this other guy (didn't say his name) before we went official, she said they went on dates and were texting a lot but that she wasn't intimate with him... except for once. She said it was during the time when we were not sure what will happen with our relationship and that she felt like she needed to keep her options open. She said she didn't like him that much, and that she wishes it didn't happen. Also, she said she told him she now has a BF and that they are not in contact anymore. I let her talk without interrupting. She didn't specify any concrete timelines or specific time periods of when this happened. I then asked when did this happen, and she said that it was "long time ago" and that "it's all in the past" and that it was when "we were still figuring out things".
EDIT: To clarify the timeline: We started to date causally, then ± 2 months later had exclusivity talk. We said we are sexually exclusive and that we are not going to date anyone else. My work was an issue and my frequent traveling/possible move out of the state were on the table. We became official 6 months later, when things settled down. According to what I know, she dated him during those 6 months, after our exclusivity talk.
I really do appreciate that she came clean. However, I'm really conflicted about her telling me trickle/half truths, at least to some extent. She was not really clear/honest about where and how they met, or how long and what they were doing. I didn't want to inquire too much because I didn't want to reveal my hand and the fact that I knew about this. I know it was very stressful and difficult for her to tell me this, she is that type to avoid confrontation. We left the conversation unfinished.
I'm not sure now what to do next. Before she confessed, I felt like the ball is in my court, but now I kinda want to drop the whole thing. How should I process this?
TL;DR; GF secretly dated someone while we were "exclusive" but not official, and I found out, but she confessed before I confronted her about it. Not sure what to do next.
Submitted July 26, 2019 at 02:38PM by ohmymanohman https://ift.tt/2ydYHVB
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