My (F23) childhood friend (M23) keep trying to get out of "friend zone" even though I rejected him twice.

I'm sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm a newbie user, accidentally saw this place for relationship troubles so I'm going to share my story.

I (F23) know my friend (M23) for about 17 years. We were in the same class during all school years. I always preferred to be friends with boys so he was one of them. After all those years, classmates started joking that he is my shadow because he went and did everything with me. Whenever I found a new passion or hobby he did the same. He often came to visit my house and treated my parents like his own. At that time (during high school) I tried to not stress out about life so ignored that matter. Of course sometimes it felt suffocating but still enjoyed his company most of time. It was silly.

Everything went downhill when I found out that my other classmate is a very good boyfriend material. We went out for a few meetings (of course my friend wanted to go as well) and then decided to start relationship. It was the last semester of highschool. He started to act jealous during breaks because I wasn't sitting with him etc. So I reduced my affection towards my boyfriend whenever my friend was nearby. I didn't want to hurt him and see another scene of jealousy. My boyfriend was understanding saying that we have only a few months of school left.

But it got worse. Whenever I was at my boyfriend house and it was getting dark my friend called me to go home, not sleep with him etc. He started asking if I have a period cuz he is scared that I may be pregnant. After 3 months of my relationship he asked if I'm taking nude photos for my bf because he want to see them and masturbate. I'm a person who holds everything inside but it was too much. Short story: I told everything my boyfriend, he forbidden me from talking to him, my friend made a huge scene that I'm ungrateful and he will destroy our relationship. After hard month of threatens we finished highschool and later went to a college in another city. He tried to call me many times but after some time he stopped doing it. Three years later I met him on the street, talked a bit and he acted normal so I decided to talk with him from time to time, he seemed to like a girl in his major.

In the end of last year my relationship ended. We had different life plans and affection faded away. The first person to know this was of course my friend. He started to call me more often, asked to meet etc. Sometimes I did to get out from routine of work and college (I'm currently getting degree and work part time). At first I was happy because as always he provided a good time and seemed to not repeat what happened in the past. But as weeks passed he started to be more and more demanding. When I went for a short vacation with a colleague he called me every few hours to check if I'm alright and in the end was mad that I didn't bring him with me.

It's summer break now so I'm working full time, sometimes take night shifts at local supermarket to earn as much as possible (my family isn't well-off so I'm trying to not burden my parents) so after coming home I'm too tired to do anything and sleep. Working at hotel and supermarket is sometimes too much and he don't understand it. He isn't working, always spend summer break roaming around. Everyday he send me tons of messages with his plans to spend our time together even though I have a shift at this hour. If I won't meet him he starts whining that I had time for my boyfriend so why not him etc. During one meeting I was very tired and told him that if he wants something more than being friends he can stop because I'm not interested in him. He laughed it off saying that he isn't.

We live in a small city where people know each other. For others it looks like I'm using him for my pleasures and he is in complete friend zone. In the end I'm the one hurting him because I don't want to be in the relationship. I have many arguments against it. In the past I had a good time during our meetings, now I'm feeling forced and tired.

I'm really confused what to do. I don't want to hurt him but at the same time it is stressing me out. I feel like the bad one because I keep ignoring his tries to make me love him but at the same time the whole situation suffocates me. I don't know if I should try to stop talking to him or what, he acts completely the same like in the past so I don't believe that he will change now. Maybe if he was himself not trying to make everything for me even though I don't need it. During highschool I had my boyfriend who helped me get through this. Now I'm alone with no one to talk about it...

TL;DR I (F23) have a friend (M23) who wants to be more than that. During school days he always followed me, did everything with me and like everything I did. When I started a relationship with another guy he acted insane trying to be a part of my relationship. I stopped contacting him. After 4 years my relationship ended and he is trying to get his position back. I don't know how to reject him without hurting him. For others I'm the bad one but for me the whole situation is stressing me out.

Submitted July 30, 2019 at 01:16PM by 3294ad https://ift.tt/2yrlf5n