Hey Reddit, I could use some help here, I’m a lurker but finally have my own post to share and get some unbiased insight on.
My SO Alex and I have been together for 6 years. We don’t live together because the cost of rent in insanely expensive, and want to purchase our own house instead of renting a shack for 3K a month. This isn’t uncommon in our area and most people of our age do this.
He has a close group of friends that goes back to childhood. There are probably 12 people total in the group, all men. I have known all of them since we’ve started dating, so I’m not new to any of them. I get along well with everyone.
One of Alex’s friends, Brian, is getting married next weekend. He sent out the invitations in May, and I noticed that it was only addressed to Alex on the front, not to me. There wasn’t any RSVP information on whether it was only for him or him plus one, so he wrote back letting them know he was going, but asked if I was too. He didn’t hear back.
Last week, I asked Alex if he could ask again if I am going or not, because it was getting close and I wanted to know instead of being in this limbo. Alex asked Brian and Brian said he had to run numbers cause they were close to max, but would check. Last night, Alex texted Brian about something not wedding related, and Brian responded back basically saying, “hey I’m so sorry but we’re at max capacity for the wedding so Katie (me) can’t go. Sorry bro if anyone drops out last second I will let you know.”
Alex read it to me as soon as he got the message and we had a general conversation about weddings and wedding etiquette, and that's all we spoke of it.
I found myself not being able to sleep last night because this was sort of nagging at me. Alex’s friend group’s girlfriends and wives (only 2 are married) were invited, so why wasn’t I? We have been together longer than anyone else, even the couple-to-wed themselves. Won’t it be awkward for Alex to be on his own at his friends wedding? I can't help but feel like this is personal either against me or Alex. It just seems weird and I can't shake this feeling.
I should also mention that the wedding is local, not destination.
I don’t want to talk to Alex about it because I’m sure he will think I am trying to guilt him for going to the wedding, which I don’t want to make it seem. But it doesn’t seem like he really cares that I am going or not. It’s more of a “oh, that sucks”. But, it is bothering me more than I thought it would and I just don’t like to feel left out. Even if he did call and say “we have room” this week, it would make me feel uncomfortable being there when I know I really wasn’t invited to begin with. Also, WHY?! Is this normal for weddings nowadays? am I overreacting? Is there some hidden cutoff I don't know about? It makes me feel like if I was ever invited to a wedding, I don't want to bring Alex because I'm not supposed to... like I was making a mistake all the times I brought him before.
Reddit, any advice for this silly situation? Thanks.
TLDR; My SO of 6 years got an invite to one of his good friends wedding, he didn’t get a plus one. SO doesn't seem to care. Everyone else got an invite but me. Feeling left out and don’t know how to make light of the situation.
Submitted July 27, 2019 at 04:09PM by caringcaregiver https://ift.tt/2ygjAQh
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