My MIL invited my wife and 13 month old daughter to go to Disney World Florida on one condition - I’m not invited. Am I crazy for thinking this is an unreasonable request?

Backstory:

Characters involved Myself - 30 year old male My wife - 26 year old female My daughter - 13 month old female My MIL (Mother in Law) - 70 year old female My FIL (Father in Law) - 56 year old male

My wife and I have a wonderful 13 month old daughter and my wife’s parents have been EXTREMELY helpful in assisting with medical bills, purchases of household items and baby goods, as well as providing the deposit and co-signing for a new home that my daughter, wife and I now live in.

We both work. I’m full time and my wife is part time. We pay half of the mortgage and will soon be responsible for the full amount.

The Issue:

My wife’s brother moved to Virginia with his wife and daughter and this means my MIL sees them much less than she previously had. Her granddaughter’s 4th birthday is coming up in November and they have planned to go to Disneyworld in Florida.

MIL invited my wife to go so that she could see her brother and our daughter could play with her cousin and get pictures. I am not invited, in fact she specifically said it would just be an invitation for my wife and daughter.

I had thought I had a good relationship with her parents up until now. I had believed that everything they do - whether or not there were ulterior motives - was for us as a family. But now I feel very ostracized and left out.

My dilemma:

After speaking about how much this would hurt me; missing out on my only child’s first flight, first visit out of state, first theme park, and many other firsts that are bound to come up along the way - she understood and spoke to her mother.

Her mother does not think it’s wrong that I’m not included and is saying it was intended for their immediate family so that they could all spend time together. And that having Emery there is so that they can get photos of the cousins.

Neither of my wife’s parents thinks it’s out of line to expect that I allow my daughter to be away for four days while I am at home working and keeping up to date via Instagram, FaceTime, phone calls and the rest.

In fact they said we should take our daughter to Disneyland “real fast” and get it out of the way so that it’s not a big deal.

AM I CRAZY?

I think this is crazy. No one has any right to think I’ll willingly sit on the sideline and miss out on this. There will undoubtedly be other trips but this would be a milestone for our daughter and a huge miss for me.

I offered to cover my own costs of the trip and to assist with airfare, rentals, or hotel accommodations - which is not easy to say. We have lots of expenses with a new home, new daughter, and new living arrangements.

I already cope with the fact that I only have two full days off a week to be with my daughter. I work nights to allow for my wife to have greater flexibility in her part time schedule. I’m already missing so much time with my daughter. I don’t want to miss this.

Any Advice?

How do I even go about approaching something like this? Sitcom television never prepared me for this moment.

And I feel like no matter what I say my wife will be put in a bad light. I don’t want to strain our personal relationship. And I don’t want to make enemies of my in laws. But I’m not interested in being left out.

TL;DR MIL invited my wife to take our 13 month old daughter to Disney World Florida and I’m not invited. I’m expected to go along with this because they have helped us pay for things in the past. Also both MIL and FIL think I’m overreacting for feeling like this request is out of the question.

EDIT: Credit to u/ShenandoahValley for helping correct some grammar and formatting.

Submitted August 31, 2018 at 09:59PM by CashMoneyPancakes https://ift.tt/2PoHQ94