Was told my [17 M] older sister [32 F] is actually my mom. Family has trouble accepting that I'm not bothered by this.

(For clarity, I'm going to refer to my family members as the people I've grown up thinking them as. So I'm calling my genetic mom my sister, calling my genetic grandma my mom, etc.)

A few weeks ago, the day after my 17th birthday, my family (mom, [52 F], dad [54 M], sister [32 F], and brother [33 F] wanted to hold a surprise family meeting with me to tell me something at a quiet part of the beach. They seemed very worried and I had felt that they were being especially awkward/overly nice with me the last few weeks, although I was unsure why.

During the meeting they told me that my sister is actually my genetic mother. She got pregnant with me (by accident, not in any forced/traumatic way) during HS and didn't feel comfortable aborting or giving me up at the time, and they decided together that it was more beneficial to raise me as my grandparents child.

I'll say here that I thought I generally had a great childhood outside of maybe not the best financial situation when I was very young. Both my grandparents and siblings were very kind/responsible to me and they always got along with each other and myself. Never once saw a fight between them. We had a very stable and loving home imo.

At the beach they were all crying (even my brother) and were very emotional in a way I'd never really seen before. We're close and a "lots of hugs" family but this was super excessive even for us. I was obviously REALLY surprised (i thought they were going to tell me my brother was gay/parents getting surprise divorce out of nowhere/someone is sick with the way they were acting) so I had no idea how to react and overall was very casualish about the whole thing.

It was really obvious that keeping it bottled up for so long was driving them crazy and I think they expected a big emotional outburst of anger/sadness from me and I just didn't have one. Without going into the story in-depth the story they described was totally understandable and I don't think they did anything wrong. I didn't feel angry/sad/betrayed etc and it really doesn't change how I view my family.

They basically kept repeating endlessly "it's fine to be upset or mad, we understand", and I kept telling them that it was fine and that I really am not. My sister especially did this and I almost felt like they WANTED me to be angry. it was very weird and they didn't respond well to me taking it well. I made a very lighthearted joke about it on the drive back to try and make them feel better and they did not take it well so I stopped.

Things have been just very nuts at home since. Everyone is walking on eggshells around me all the time. I honestly don't feel that much about this. Obviously it's a giant surprise but I still love/respect my family and don't view them any less than I did before. I have been VERY explicit in telling them this and it's almost like they ignore it every time. They are being very overly nice to me and very frequently repeating this very self-deprecating stuff about them being POS and it makes me feel awful.

I heard my sister crying to my parents when I got home from school "he hates me so much" and them saying "he's just angry at the situation, you need to give him time" and I'm flabbergasted that that's seriously how they think I think about this. I literally hugged her that morning and had told her for like the 300th time that it was fine and I wasn't mad at all.

They scheduled a family therapy appointment for tomorrow and I don't want to go because it's going to be two hours of this stuff. The whole thing is being framed like it'll "help me let it out in a professional setting". Like I'm crazy. They are acting like I'm nuts because I don't hate them and I feel hurt almost that they don't believe me. They have never acted like this before and I feel like it actually is making me crazy. I feel much worse from their behavior than the thing with my sister.

TL;DR: Family told me that my older sister is really my mom. All of them feel guilty about keeping a secret and were expecting me to be mad or upset, I'm totally cool with it. They ARE NOT listening to me and keep having this idea that I secretly despise them or am depressed no matter how much I repeat the opposite. I feel nuts.

Submitted August 31, 2018 at 08:24PM by Emergency_Bug https://ift.tt/2PVjSne