tl;dr My parents don't really like my boyfriend, and they're starting to show it (even to him). I don't want to ruin my relationship with either side, but things can't continue like this.
Some background: My boyfriend (let's call him Kyle) and I met about two years ago, when I was a freshman and he was a junior. We've been dating about a year and a half. He has since graduated (while I am a junior now) and will be working in a city about 4 hours away by bus. He was also away his senior year on exchange, so it's not like we haven't done long distance before.
Since the relationship began, my parents warned me about the struggles of long distance/time commitment/etc. I really like this guy, though, and I think they could tell, so they didn't say too much. Around the one year mark, they sat me down and told me about their concerns with a long-distance (and now longer-term) boyfriend, how they didn't think I was getting to know him enough, how he could probably cheat on me easily, etc. Obviously, I didn't really listen and continued the relationship, but I could tell they were displeased. They claimed "they want to get to know him better."
So I invited Kyle to my house over one of our breaks (about a week long), so that my parents could interact with him for longer than a dinner. He seemed to get along well with my mom, but my dad didn't really speak to him, and when he did, was curt.
I spent the summer in the same city as Kyle, where we both had internships. We have a lot of overlapping hobbies, so it was probably one of the best summers I've ever had. He took care of me and helped me out even when I didn't ask. It was pretty far from my parents, but I called and updated them a lot. My parents are pretty conservative though, and they wouldn't like that Kyle slept over sometimes (as in they'd probably give me hell/pull me out of school/whatever they could to break us up), so we had to hide that from them.
Near the end of July, my parents drove over for a visit, and Kyle and I showed them around. That night, I stayed in the hotel with them while Kyle went back to his apartment. After he left, my dad tried to have a serious talk with me about Kyle. He told me to "think of the future" in this relationship. Basically, he felt that Kyle is beneath me in looks, intellect, and personality, and that I should keep my options open even if I'm in this relationship. I felt really hurt that he would suggest this of someone I love and even suggest that I should keep an eye out for "taller, more handsome guys". My dad kept telling me that HE could tell Kyle wasn't right for me and wouldn't be satisfied until I saw it for myself and broke up with him. My mom, who was just listening, left at this point, saying my dad was "such a judgmental fake". My dad admitted that Kyle was a good person, and he understood why we got along so well, but he insisted that I could "do better".
I was extremely upset at him, said some mean things, and stormed back into my own room. My mom came by to comfort me and told me that the most important thing is that I like who I'm with. She mentioned that she made a mistake marrying my dad, which made me burst into tears. We haven't talked about it since.
Kyle gets the feeling my parents don't like him, and asks me after every almost interaction if they're upset at him. I know he's a little insecure, so that might play a part, but I think my dad is way too obvious with the way he treats Kyle. It borders on disrespectful sometimes, like claiming Kyle's job is something "anyone could pick up" and making snide comments about his sense of style.
I love my parents, and I love Kyle, but I feel like as I continue this relationship, it's going to cause everyone stress in the future. I just don't know what to do. I've tried telling my dad it's my relationship and that he needs to stop interfering, but he just pulls the "I'm your father and I'm looking out for you" card. I don't want to cut my parents off at all -- when we don't talk about Kyle, everything is honestly wonderful. But I can't imagine just not talking about Kyle forever, especially since we're going pretty steady. Help?
Submitted August 31, 2018 at 06:56AM by sadthrowaway602 https://ift.tt/2NHOiHO
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