I(26f) got dumped by my rebound relationship (29m) which was very intense and now it's killing me. Suffering two break ups at once.

I’ve recently gone through a very painful break up with someone (M) I’ve been seeing for 4 months. I know it sounds too short to be so painful, however it was on the backend of me leaving a very bad (abusive) 7 year relationship (H) and so it was intense from the get-go.

Coming from such a poor relationship, the one with M felt euphoric to me. Someone told me that when you’ve been dying of thirst, any drop of water will do. For the first time in a long time, with him I felt genuinely elated and that my life was finally good again. We were crazy about each other and wanted to spend every minute together.

But its beside the point now as he told me on Tuesday evening that he loved me but couldn’t cope with being in a relationship (he’s a recovering drug addict, 18 months clean) as it was affecting his recovery. I think the relationship felt like an addiction to him and he didn’t have the tools to cope with it.

I’m devastated and couldn’t understand at first as I just wanted to help him, however I’ve accepted his decision now despite the emotional rollercoaster having a devastating blow on me.

I know I need to be on my own now and want to go No Contact with both, however my new start from my H has almost centred on my relationship with M. I moved to a new place of the city I live in (where M lives), I joined a company where M works, and a lot of my new friends/new life is with him. He’s off work currently but will be back in 2 weeks and I’m terrified of seeing him. I feel like I need a fresh start but it seems impossible with all these crossovers.

It’s now become apparent too that I never got to mourn my 7 year relationship with H because I moved onto M straightaway, and it’s all hitting me now, too. I’m having a mixed bag of wanting to contact H and thinking I made a mistake ever breaking up with him in the first place, which is bizarre. I think I felt like M saved me from it, and now he’s gone I don’t know what to do.

I want to move on and heal and I’ve accepted that I need to be alone and the relationship with M was probably a bad decision. However, I am struggling with knowing what to do, not being able to have a fresh start and not being able to go NC as I will find it incredibly painful to see someone who made me so happy and be reminded of what's happened.

Any advice? :(

TL;DR Got into a rebound relationship to get me out of an abusive 7 year relationship and it ended after 4 months. I'm absolutely devestated as I feel like I'm suffering with 2 break ups. Need a fresh start but not sure how. Please help.

Submitted August 31, 2018 at 05:07AM by lepop0108 https://ift.tt/2wsGwei