My [56 F] mother asked me [29 F] to do a green card marriage for my cousin's boyfriend and I don't know how to say no to her.

My mother asked me to do a green card marriage for my cousin's boyfriend, whom she has a child with in another country. I said no in the beginning because I never physically met the guy, and I never liked to get involved with stuff like this since I've seen how complicated it was, especially for strangers. But when I saw how sad my mother was, I unfortunately agreed under the condition it would go as quickly as my mother claimed it would (2 years). She told me that the guy can come in and help my cousin enter the country and he was apart of our family now. No payment is needed and I didn't want it. I only wanted it to finish quickly and relied on my mom's plan.

But after telling my brothers and boyfriend about this plan, I realize that it is an illegal situation that can either get me jailed or fined. I see that even if I did it, there are so many more complications involved and I don't want any part of it for someone who wouldn't do it for me.

My option is to tell my mother a final "no" but unfortunately it is difficult. I feel alot of guilt. My mother told me I am doing this for the family, but the problem is that I lived my whole life seeing her constantly send money home to our country to help her siblings and their children. My brother and I had to look out for ourselves because we could not put more pressure on her. Now that I'm doing fine financially, it's like anytime she asks for help it's to help another person. She never asks for much for herself.

How can I walk out of this without leaving on bad terms? If I say no, it's like I'm turning my back on her and the extended family I don't even have a deep relationship with. My crazy plan was to lie and say I got a promotion and have to move, then leave town. But I think it's just my fear of not being able to say no. My only other option is simply to wait a few days, tell her that I just can't do it due to legal reasons and live with the guilt. It's just hard finding a way to sit her down and tell her.

TL:DR - My mother asked me to do a green card marriage for my cousin's boyfriend. The idea is he comes, we marry and divorce, and eventually will help my cousin get into the country. I didn't like it but agreed under the condition it was an easy and short process according to my mom. After telling my brothers and boyfriend, I realize it's a bad deal to make but don't know how to tell my mother no.

Submitted January 06, 2021 at 09:33AM by dktechie https://ift.tt/2L6Ic7S