I realize this is a textbook example of making a mountain out of a mole hill, but here we are. I (32F) have never been in what I would call a romantic relationship. I am the definition of a virgin (solo activities notwithstanding). I have never even kissed anyone. My dating experience has never gone beyond a first date. I have a difficult time connecting romantically with people. I've wondered if I might be demisexual or if this is the lingering effects of purity culture. Maybe there's some other reason I haven't discovered yet.
The point is, I started talking to a guy on a dating app recently. We would chat for a couple days, then nothing for awhile, then pick it up again. I finally agreed to meet him in a park on New Year's Day. As usual I was very reserved/quiet but apart from that things seemed to go well. He had mentioned in one of our earlier messages that he wanted to kiss me, but I brushed it off as just something guys say. Well when it was time to leave he opened my car door for me (very sweet) and after I got in he leaned in for a kiss. My kneejerk reaction was to lean away. He was very nice about it and asked to kiss me on the cheek which I allowed (still a first!). After reflecting on the interaction as a whole I feel like I would like to get to know him more. I'm also much more inclined to return the kiss now. I messaged him to explain that my lack of kissing didn't mean a lack of interest. He voiced a concern that he might be "more touchy feely" than me and that things might not work. Then he suggested I let him give me one kiss and if I don't feel anything we go our separate ways.
This is where I need help, oh wise Redditors. Here are my questions/concerns.
• Do I bring up the fact I've never kissed anyone? If so, how?
• What if I'm bad at it?
• What if I'm good at it?
• I don't know where this might take place. I don't really invite people to my apartment, not even friends.
• Will there be any other pretense? I can't imagine just walking up to someone and kissing them.
• Does this mean he's into me? Or would he be into any other woman an equal amount? I don't know what it's like to have someone be attracted to me.
• Thinking about all of this makes me incredibly nervous. Any suggestions for how to relax? I know a kiss is nbd in the grand scheme but it still seems like a big deal to me.
TL;DR (32F) Could potentially have fist kiss soon and panicking.
Submitted January 06, 2021 at 03:12PM by gonichole https://ift.tt/3baj7Um
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