Do I have unrealistic expectations?

Do I have unrealistic expectations?

My bf (29) and I (35) have been together around 9 months. I love him and overall we have a great relationship but lately I find myself disappointed and we seem to argue around the same behaviors.

I want him to be able to talk to me about how he feels but I often find myself myself not empathetic towards his feelings. It’s not because I don’t care or love him but because he seems to lack basic adult skills like time and money management that causes his issues. It’s like he doesn’t take personal responsibility for the things that happen or don’t happen. Then when I give any kind of expectation or direction (come over for dinner on our day off) and want him to follow through he says I’m being controlling or he says I get upset when things don’t go my way.

For example he normally gets 3 days off a week. I’m usually off two days although not always free cause I have a 4 year old son I share custody with. I try to align at least half a day off a week in my schedule for us to do something. Over the past couple months he has bailed on plans numerous times because he needed to do other things and makes up some excuse like meal plan or grocery shop. Things that he could of done on his other days off instead of being lazy and playing video games. I’m not saying hobbies aren’t important but what about your other priorities?

Christmas Eve was our last argument because he walked in the door 30 mins before my family was suppose to come for dinner with a pouty face saying he didn’t want to be here. We then argued over it and he told me I shouldn’t be upset with him sharing his feelings.

I’m frustrated and I want to be a good partner but I’m worried that he isn’t going to step up and I’m always going to feel disappointed.

TL;DR - boyfriend doesn’t “adult” well and it leads me to be not empathetic to the situations he puts himself in. He is not rising to expectations and says I don’t care about his feeling.

Submitted January 06, 2021 at 07:27PM by drachenfire85 https://ift.tt/3q2BP4B