My best friend’s wife hates my guts. I don’t know if there’s much I can do.
Hi. First of all, I wanna say, thank you for deciding to read this. I’m honestly at a loss, so it means the world to me that you’ve taken the time out of your day to consider my situation. 😭
I (21 F) recently lost contact with my best friend (23 M). Simply put, his new wife (20 F) hates my guts. Why? Because I briefly “dated” him for a couple of months when I was 15. She’s been with him for a year now—they officially tied the knot a couple of months ago. (I’m aware that this sounds rushed, but they have their own personal reasons for things working out this way. I’ve done my best not to judge.) I only just found out that she had hated me from the beginning right before they got married—until then, I had assumed we were hitting it off as friends pretty well.
She believes that him having any contact with me at all is unfaithful—even though I came out as a lesbian in 2017 and am currently in a relationship (with an incredible and talented woman, btw. Sorry lol I love showing her off :P). Honestly, even if I was straight or bisexual, I could never see that sparking between each other. He’s with her, not me, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves her more than anything.
About a month ago, I lost contact with him. I asked him if he was alright, and he said that his wife would kill him if she found out he was talking to me even a little bit. We ended up calling on his shift at work, and it was so upsetting to hear how desperate he was for everything to work out. Unfortunately, “working things out” honestly means that I’m just not in the picture anymore. He said he would contact me again if things “got better”, but I’m honestly not hopeful.
Honestly, at this point, I’m convinced his wife is a manipulator. I wanted to assume the best in her, but I’m shocked at how this all panned out. I wish I could help, but I’m not supposed to even be in the picture, and I’m afraid that any contact from me whatsoever would just end up sparking arguments between them. I don’t want to be the reason for my closest friend’s marriage falling apart.
I’m at a loss, honestly. I’m so worried for him. He knows I’m there if he needs me, but I just feel like the worst possible person he could go to right now. I really don’t want to give up on him—I feel like no matter what, I’ll love him. He means so much to me, regardless of the situation.
I guess I don’t really know what I need...some outside opinions, I guess? It’s very hard to think of this situation without an extreme bias!! And again, thank you so much for reading, it means the world to me 😭
Tl;dr: My best friend’s wife won’t allow my best friend to have any contact with me because we dated for a couple of months ~6 years ago (pardon my math). I’m extremely worried. I need some outside opinions!
Submitted September 22, 2020 at 02:31PM by meowmixshot https://ift.tt/2RPQ918
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