Me and my girlfriend are in an open relationship, and I don’t believe my girlfriend actually likes having sex with me.
Before you comment I should communicate with her, I have, I know what she feels about me. She has a “weird kink” where she likes hooking up with people, exuding sex appeal to them, projecting a perfect version of herself to them. She wants short, sweet encounters not long enough for her partners to learn her flaws and weird quirks. How this came out to me was when she said: “I don’t like having sex with you, because you know me too well”.
I have always said that I never want to be the dictator of my girlfriends sexual life, and now I’m realizing with her full sexual liberty that she would choose to have sex with others before me, and that makes me really sad. Once I realized this, I felt even worse, because now it did feel like both I was wanting to control her sex life, and in truth, I was expecting sex from the relationship. And from there, I can’t help but feel abusive.
To make matters worse, she told me she had a dream about me actually r@p1n.g her, and had shown me a comic explaining that you shouldn’t have sex if you’re in a relationship and if you feel like you have to. All I want is for her to love having sex with me, to enthusiastically seek it out the way I do. I want her to love satisfying me as much as I love satisfying her, but I will never be able to make her, and this is so heartbreaking to me.
Tldr: I don’t feel desired by my girlfriend, so I’m choosing not to have sex with her for now, because it’s never going to feel right. It feels good physically, but i will always feel like a r@p.1st.
Submitted September 29, 2020 at 03:12PM by mayobass https://ift.tt/2SeuoYQ
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