Hello Reddit. I want to tell you about my story and then you will help me to decide what to do.
I'm sorry for my English. I am from Russia and I'm only studying so it isn't that perfect. I'm 17 male.
Well, a month ago I felt really depressed. All my best friends left me because they ended school and moved far away from me to study in universities. I felt so lonely... Plus at that period I had so much arguments with my parents. My dad said that I'm a real slob, that I can do nothing and he regrets that I was even born. By the way I haven't ever heard from him that he's proud of me. I tried so hard to impress him by my hard studies even in summer time. I really tried to be a good son but it was not enough for him. My girlfriend broke up with me because "I'm boring and not romantic". Next two weeks I drank a lot, I thought about suicide. I decided to cut my veins in Friday. But in Thursday my cousin sister (she's 16) called me for a walk. I didn't had any plans so I thought that it won't hurt me anyway. I met her in a park and she huged me so hard and said that she was very happy to see me. I was pleasently surprised by that because she never huged me before. All that day we walked hand in hand. She said so many nice words to me. It really seemed like she was enjoying spending time with me. I told her about my school project and I said that I'm really worried about coming exams. She was listening to my words carefully and said that I can handle it. Then I told her about my girlfriend leaving me. My sister hugged me again and said everything is going to be alright. Suddenly I felt so calm and happy. When it was a goodbye time she said "I love you brother. Don't worry about anything." At that evening I couldn't sleep I thought so much about her. I imagined how bad she would feel if I die. Next day I was feeling much better then the week before. I felt that at least someone cares about me. I left my suicidal thoughts and moved on.
A month passed. Now I have new friends, a new girlfriend. Recently my dad apologised about all his words. I feel much better and I am happy. I don't stop thinking that if my sister Diana didn't help me that day I could loose it all. My parents could loose me... I feel so guilty to cousin about all that shit minds in my head.
Should I tell her what was happening with me?
Should I tell that she saved my life?
TL;DR: I felt really depressed and decided to kill myself but my cousin sister shoved me that she loves me and that I mean a lot to her. By that she saved me from suicidal thoughts. She didn't know that I wanted to suicide. Should I tell her that she saved my life by that? Or I shouldn't burden her with this?
Submitted September 27, 2020 at 04:14PM by IBeLieveDraGGons https://ift.tt/30fz2KC
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