27 yo female here. I'm at the age where all of my friends are either married with kids or are in a serious relationship basically waiting to get married and that is fine with me. I love hanging out with them and their partners, I support their relationships and when they invite me out I have no problem third wheeling or even fifth wheeling and finding a friend or new casual acquaintance to come along and entertain me if I think they want some private time. I've been like this my whole life. Never sought out relationships, dated casually when the opportunity presented itself but never got bent up when the guy decided he needed to find something more serious. I'm very into my job, have been for the past 5 years, and love basically being constantly busy with it (I work in research, travel a lot, and feel my work is really rewarding).
Yet it's becoming increasingly obvious that my friends and family are uncomfortable with how happy I am being single, maybe forever single. It's starting to affect my relationship with them and making me unhappy. I am very often asked by relatives--including my parents--if I am seeing someone, who that random guy is on social media who liked my post (always one of my gay guy friends or some guy I haven't heard from in years). My friends have not only started to ask me constantly about whether I am talking to someone but have asked me with great concern 'are you just not going to date anyone again' / 'are you just never going to get married' as if it's the most disgusting thought they ever had. One person accidentally let it slip they would be weirded out if one of their friends showed up to every one of their adult social events single. Friends and family have often offered many times to set me up despite the fact I have stated my explicit disinterest in this. I have explained that I really enjoy being single and if there's someone I'm interested in of course I'll put in effort but I feel no rush or pressure. I have asked friends and family many times why they keep asking me if I'm dating / intend to date when they know my answer will be "Im not talking to anyone", but they always say "just curious" "it doesn't matter just curious", despite the fact they are obviously uncomfortable with it. They have actually hinted that they think I have some big secret I'm hiding, like a secret boyfriend or that I'm a secret freak (neither of these are true I'm pretty normal just have boring interests I guess).
I have no idea how to deal with them. I can't just get in a relationship with someone to please them and make myself more normal to them, but I hate being treated with this weird.. suspicion? Disgust? My friends who are all in relationships seem to be getting closer to each other and sidelining me in groups and maybe that's natural because they have more in common due to their relationship status but I can't help thinking it's because the idea of having an adult friend in the future without a husband or serious boyfriend seriously bothers them.
Why are they asking me these questions constantly? What can I say to them? How can I deal with this? Has anyone else experienced this kind if treatment? I'm getting kind of old to find a whole new group of friends and I care about them. Need advice.
--- **TL;DR;** : Friends and family clearly uncomfortable with my [27 F] being single.
Submitted September 25, 2020 at 07:23PM by intjudgingyou https://ift.tt/2S6tdut
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