I'm [M18] not a good gifter, while my friend [F17] is. Her birthday is coming up this week, and I worry about disappointing.

TL;DR: I can't figure out what to give my friend for her eighteenth. I want to show that I care, but I worry about disappointing her or copying the general idea of what she gave me.

My family isn't really big on gifts. We (as in: the kids) usually just get money, which is fine by me because my pocket money is usually gone by the end of the month and any additional cash is a blessing. This is troublesome though, because it'd be a faux-pas to give "just money" to someone from outside the family. And that leaves me clueless about what would be a good idea for a gift.

This February I've had my birthday. Pre-lockdown, but I'm a loner so it was always going to be a party of three - two of my close cousins and the friend in question. She gave me a huge personalised gift with a lot of smaller, complimentary items. The centre-piece was a huge wooden board with hot chocolate packets arranged in the shape of "18", with little dedications attached to them, y'know, "drink this one when you're feeling down" kind of stuff (I love chocolate and we used to go out for hot chocolate when returning from after-school activities). Then there's a bookstore chain gift card (we're both book moles, though she's more of a reader and I'm more of a writer), an "I love coffee" heat-sensitive mug (I do love coffee), a sketchbook (I draw), a miniature canvas that you can attach to the fridge... I'm quite possibly forgetting something, but you get the idea: she put together a gift that was so considerate, heartfelt and extensive... there's no way I'm matching that.

The plan I had was as follows: bookshop gift card (she reads through everything, if I buy a specific book it's a 50/50 chance she had already read it), a mug with "no 1 boss" or something similar on it (she is the leader in a project we're both doing and runs a shop in her school), a P!nk CD (she's a fan of that band, though I'm not sure about getting that one because she can just stream it + I don't know if I don't end up buying one she already has + also budget constraints + I don't know if she will want it). I also wanted to give her a drawing that she challenged me to do the other day, and maybe attaching a poem wishing her happy birthday, though it may be a little too much (nothing romantic, but yeah, possibly a bit overboard).

As you can see, the general idea behind those items is the same: gift card, mug and a personalised "artwork" are the things that I got from her. Therefore, I'm worried that she may think that I don't care and that I'm copying her gift and firing it back at her. What can I do differently to avoid that? Or is the gift than I planned out fine? It's all really stressful, especially since I'm going gift-shopping today and the party is on Friday.

Submitted September 30, 2020 at 02:14AM by trabantemnaksiezyc https://ift.tt/348sOO4