Hi this is my first post so don’t know if I’m doing this right but I appreciate anyone who reads. I’ve spent a lot of time with this close friend of mine recently due to us both being in our hometowns due to lockdown. Usually we only see each other occasionally because we live in different cities. We’ve been best friends since we were 15. Last year I had an awful break up that knocked my confidence. I started talking to a new guy in May and actually liked him which felt really big to me because I’d been having trouble moving on from my ex ( which she knows) so I was really happy to actually like someone new.
I realised recently that every time I’ve been with someone or started seeing them she gets extremely negative once it turns serious/ the ball starts rolling. An example with my ex is how she complimented him at first and said she had always liked him ( they were friends before I even met him) and then as soon as things started getting serious between us she started being incredibly negative and saying she never liked him and that he wasn’t a nice person but would never elaborate on her claims. She would post shady things about him on social media and would mock me when something went wrong between me and him and liked to say that he didn’t love me based on vague points etc. It was all very demeaning and strange but I ignored it seeing as I was focused on the relationship.
Fast forward to now, as soon as I’m talking to someone new she started doing the same thing again. But with this guy she went as far as to say that he bullied her when we were at school together. I know for a fact that this is bullshit- he never did , he was one of the nice ones. I’ve noticed she can be very manipulative and does reverse psychology a lot, you know like ‘ he bullied me... he was horrible... but you know it’s whatever... if you like him that’s fine’. She knows I’m very loyal so I cut him off as soon as she said that.
Anyway, a couple months pass and I start regretting my decision as another friend of mine pointed out to me that it sounds like she just doesn’t want me to date for whatever reason so she tried to sabotage it- so I picked things up with him again. Now I’ve found out that during those couple of months she initiated flirting with him ( even though she claimed he bullied her- interesting huh) by liking lots of old pics of his which I noticed, and she sent him a flirty drunk video of herself when we were both out. When I called her out on it she made out like it was just a joke and she didn’t think I liked him anymore and acted like it was okay because I was partly in the video, but I didn’t even realise she was sending it to him until I saw her press send.
Then after I started talking to him again, she started bragging to me ( again, in that reverse psychology way so she makes it seem like she’s not bragging / she doesn’t care but in reality she is ) that he had texted her ( a week before I started talking to him again) flirting with her and she showed me the conversation. Whilst she did eventually tell him she didn’t want to actually do anything with him, she spent a good ten minutes flirting and teasing him with the promise of nudes before she said that to him.
When I called her out again on this she said that she had clearly rejected him and she wasn’t flirting and all of the nude stuff and teasing was just a ‘joke’. It feels like every time I call her out on obviously inappropriate things ( being as she knows I liked him and I had told her I was going to message him again) she manages to somehow squirm out of it and then even puts it back onto me, ‘it’s so so upsetting to me that you would accuse me of doing this to you, I’d never flirt with him’ etc.
My brain just feels boggled and saddened by the whole thing. The guy doesn’t even matter- it’s just the fact that I feel like she has acted so inappropriately and hurtfully. Any advice?
TL;DR - best friend initiating conversation and being suggestive with the boy I liked but then denies that it was flirting.
Submitted September 28, 2020 at 07:44AM by Few_Salamander_5185 https://ift.tt/33eMCQF
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