I have been dating S (36/M) for about 3.5 months. We went on several camping and beach trips throughout the summer and constantly talked about how lucky we felt to have found each other. It was magical and he's everything I've ever wanted. Then two weeks ago his graduate classes started and he started cycling training so there was a very fast drop in his attention toward me. I have talked to him about it and he gets frustrated and requests that "I try to not be a void that can't be filled" and I do recognize that this is what is happening to me. I know I have some codependency issues and I am in therapy, but does anyone out there have any tips or personal experience on how to deal with these abandonment feelings? I have plenty of hobbies, enthusiasms, academic interests, etc. but I get so physically anxious that I have a hard time pouring myself into them.
Another note: this happens EVERY TIME. I'm a serial monogamist and I have no problem finding a boyfriend; usually when I do they are head-over-heels, treat me like a goddess, and want to spend every moment with me, but then after a few months they cool off and I get very anxious. In some cases it has led to the dissolution of the relationship and I really don't want that to happen with my wonderful current bf!
TL;DR--My boyfriend doesn't check in as much as he used to and I feel so anxious and insecure. This happens in every relationship. How can I continue to feel loved when the inevitable cool-off happens?
Submitted September 27, 2020 at 11:07AM by Just-Seaweed https://ift.tt/3jd8gtN
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