We’ve known each other for about a year. Started seeing each other immediately and been official since last November. Everything has been awesome for the most part, but in terms of intimacy things haven’t progressed quite the way I would like. Neither of us are virgins. This is my longest relationship by far so far.
We’ve been kissing and holding hands since we were seeing each other, we make out all the time but we still literally have not went all the way let alone even made it past that. I’ve only seen her in her bra.
The weird part is she always hints at wanting more. She will do things like have initiate conversations about sex experiences we’ve both had in previous relationships, ask me what my favourite position is, send me suggestive snapchats, and even say things like I’m so sexy and I’m hard to resist. She’ll initiate in rather creative ways: for example when she was staying over one night she woke me up in the morning by grinding her ass on me, but every time things get to a certain point she’ll stop me. Then after things have winded down for a few minutes she sometimes initiates again.
Sometimes she also kind of teases me about it. She noticed I have a “sexy time playlist” on Spotify and she laughed at it saying “Oh so you think you’re gonna get lucky tonight”, or “oh are you just saying I look cute to get in my pants?”
I’ve asked her what the deal is a few times already. Initially she said she likes to take things slow. I’ve expressed that after practically a year I feel like this is putting a strain on us since I’m having a hard time feeling closer to her because of intimacy. She responded by saying that I have no idea what it feels like to really be close and intimate with someone. She was engaged a few years ago but it didn’t work out. She hasn’t been abused or assaulted or anything like that.
Now I’m almost at my wits end. Obviously COVID lockdown put a damper on things since we couldn’t really see each other for a few months, but ever since lockdown hit I’ve resorted to watching porn a lot more just to get the edge off.
Besides this issue there’s literally nothing else wrong. She always does really nice things for me like come over and cook for me, when I suffered a leg injury last year she would come over and take care of me. I try my absolute best to be the best boyfriend I can in return. We also have a lot of common hobbies and interests, her friends and family love me and my friends and family love her. They think she’s a total catch and that we have a great thing going. When I’ve asked some friends about it they tell me that sex isn’t that important and I shouldn’t worry about it: it’ll happen.
I don’t know what to do. She practically checks off every box of what I want in a girl, I love her to death, we have an amazing bond and she hasn’t ever done me wrong. I don’t want to end my relationship but I’m not really sure how to solve this problem either. What are your thoughts on this?
EDIT: She had a very conservative upbringing, her family has very strong views on abortion, birth control, female promiscuity, masturbating, etc. They think that she’s still a virgin. Her older sister waited until marriage and praises it as one of the best decisions she ever made.
EDIT 2: Thanks for all the support guys and girls, I’m definitely going to need to have a serious discussion with her. This has dragged on for way too long.
TLDR; Girlfriend has hang ups about intimacy, we still haven’t had sex even after a year of dating, but I love her and don’t want to throw this relationship away. Looking for advice.
Submitted September 26, 2020 at 04:23PM by ThrowRApangolin https://ift.tt/3j5GmzW
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