I love my boyfriend very much, and we have been dating for almost a year now. I do not want to break up with him, but I have become increasingly concerned and worried about his temper when he gets upset. He has never physically touched me, and I strongly believe that he never would, but he does yell at me and slam doors if we get into a fight. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially because I grew up with a narcissistic father who would use these same tactics to manipulate my mom.
I feel scared and disrespected and if I bring up something that I am upset about it always seems to turn around on me. His favorite phrase is "Well I guess I'm the bad guy then. I'm always the bad guy. You're never in the wrong." I will readily admit that I do make mistakes and I try my best to apologize for them, but I also try to talk about them in a calm manner.
I dont want to just leave without trying to fix it first, but i have no clue how to bring up the fact that his yelling scares me and that I dont want him to act like that anymore. I have told him before, and explained I grew up in a abusive household, but it does not seem to have changed anything.
This last fight he beat his chest and screamed at me "I'm always the bad guy." Over and over until he was in tears. It shocked me. I kept calm the whole time and waited till he was done and he apologized for losing his temper. But I cant keep doing this and being afraid to talk about stuff with him. I dont want to leave but I dont know how to fix it.
I also would like to add that my mom has already offered me a place to stay if I decide to leave, so I do have a exit plan just in case. I had a wake up call when she and her fiance explained to me that that was not normal and ok behavior.
TLDR; My boyfriend yells and slams doors when he gets upset and it makes me feel scared and disrespected. I dont know how to bring it up to address it.
Submitted September 20, 2019 at 08:10AM by confusedlittlefucker https://ift.tt/30hlRLq
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