Ann and I have been dating for 11 months. Before that, she was together with a guy for 4 years. They lived together.
Ann and I hooked up one night after she was on a citytrip in my town, she told me her ex and I were on a break after he had been 'abusive' and had put her on the streets.
We kept in contact and she came to visit me a few times and we are now dating since July. It's with ups and downs.
She described her ex as 'violent', 'mean', 'abusive' never happy and 'distant'. Over the course of this few months, I realised Ann needs lots of attention, so if you are a distant person, that might be difficult.
Ann's phone had technical issues and since I repair phones for a living, I decided tot take a look and try to solve it.
I stumbled upon Ann's conversation with her ex, let's name him Ben, a brief summary:
- Ben paid Ann's rent for her new appartment till she moved in with me
- Ann told Ben she forgot my name, and when she had told him she slept with me he was heartbroken but he let her stay at his place and still cooked for her. Ann said she had forgotten who I was and that she was not in contact with me. Appearantly she had said they were on a break but hooking up was not allowe dor she never wanted to speak to him again.
- She took advantage of him: she made him pay her flight tickets, she made him drive her to the hospital because she broke her arm on a moment where his brother was in a coma after he had had a car accident. The hospital was 10 minutes away for her by bus and Ben was in his hometown 3 hours away, he drove 3 freaking hours, stayed at the hospital with her and in the end she told him she broke her arm because she was distracted because she thought of all he put her through so it was his fault. When he called her because his brother passed away she said she 'didn't have time for him'.
- Ben brought her birthday gifts, when he did she texted him 'you bought me a gift in pink, I wanted it in gold :('
- She went through his phone and discovered he was on tinder and called him a cheater (she was already speaking to me and seeing me)
- She told him he deserved cheating on her, that he was not made to be happy
- She said she wanted to beat him up many times, that was his fault because he made her feel like that
- She told him how many times she hooked up with other guys and how afraid she was of his reaction (his reaction: we were broken up. You had every right.')
- She told him she was afraid he would beat her or me up because he played Grand Theft Auto (he blocked her after this).
She contacted his friends to say what kind of an asshole he was.
The guy apologized for their arguments etc and seemed utterly heartbroken.
I have no idea what to do, I am floored. Are this red flags?
Tl;dr: discovered things in my gf's phone, are these red flags?
Submitted September 27, 2019 at 11:15AM by BeginningGrowth5 https://ift.tt/2mrvVP9
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