How do I (27F) “gently” tell my mom (60F) I don’t ever want her watching my dog or future kids while I’m away? Like ever, ever.

This pretty much just happened and I’m looking for some advice on how to finesse my responses to her moving forward.

Basically my mom has a plethora of mental and physical health issues including opioid dependencies, depression, alcoholism, knee problems, back problems, and she’s also a super jerk. It’s so bad doods, she’s alienated her whole family over the last few years as well as my dad, her now ex husband, because she’s so awful and toxic to everyone. In addition to this, she is unreliable af, inattentive, and just overall not a good person. 75% chance she will lose my dog and I don’t like those odds.

Anyway, fast forward to now. I’m the proudest owner of a beautiful 10 month old Pomeranian pupper (see post history for pics), he’s my whole fucking world guys. While I’m away (maybe 1 weekend every 2 months), I leave my little guy with my dad who loves the shit out of him and spoils him- it works out well because I’ll also watch his dog while he’s away. I trust my dad with my dog completely.

My mom is livid every time my dad watches my dog; she cries (sobs), becomes a victim, and tries to make me feel bad. I basically tell her I don’t need to justify who I let watch my dog and it’s not up for discussion but she keeps hammering away wanting to be “included” and how it’s only fair I trade off between her and my dad (absolutely not).

How tf do I tell my mom to go pound sand and I don’t and won’t ever trust her with my dog ever ever ever... but like, nicer? She related it to her watching my kids in the future and that’s a big nope from me too, I hadn’t even considered the shit fire storm gates that will open when I have kids.

Pls help.

Tldr: mom’s unreliable af and I don’t want her watching my dog ever while I’m away. She compared my dog to watching my kids in the future and she won’t ever be watching my future kids either. I would love some advice on how to handle this situation without being too much of an asshole.

Submitted September 25, 2019 at 02:58PM by Sparkly_Garbage https://ift.tt/2lQlDYr