Two of my friends [M and F 16] are in an extremely codependent relationship that is slowly deteriorating their mental health, without them realizing it.

About 7 months ago, two of my very good friends (who I’ll dub M and F) began dating. Everything seemed perfectly fine at first, and we were all happy for them. However as time went on, things were getting weird.

At first, they were an extreme PDA couple. Holding hands, touching, sitting on each other during class, at almost every moment of the day. They coincidentally shared the same schedule, so they never got a break from one another. M and F would stop sitting with us at lunch, and would go eat lunch behind the stairwell. At first we didn’t think much of it, but this turned into an everyday occurrence. They also slowly started getting more and more distant from us, rarely joining us to do stuff over the weekends.

About a couple months in, things started getting scary. At this point, F’s Instagram account, which used to be a meme spam, was almost exclusive to M. She and M were the new profile picture, the description was about M, and every other picture was about M. In real life, she also wouldn’t go a single conversation without mentioning M. It was also evident that M was acting as sort of a full-time therapist for F. Not in a typical relationship, but in a way where M was the only form of emotional support for F for her pre-existing issues (depression, family issues). We tried getting her to go to an actual therapist, or the guidance counselor at school, but she refused. F would take all of the stress that she had and put it on M.

And the stress really got to M.

M began acting more and more strange as the relationship went on. What used to be a smart, curious, outgoing guy turned into someone who was quieter and not as joyful. M’s isolation was far worse than F’s, with my friends and I rarely seeing him without F on his side. He would also occasionally not come to school for 2-7 day spans, telling everybody he was “sick”. We later learned that he’s been suffering from extreme anxiety and insomnia. He would sometimes go on random 3 hour walks without telling his parents, skip sports and other activities to hang with F, and he told me personally that he began cutting himself. As soon as I heard this, we informed his parents and now he’s on a special school schedule that consists of the nurse, guidance counseling, sometimes classes (where M and F are all over each other) and lunch (where M and F are in the stairwell). Aside from the one time he came to me about his cutting, he has not came to his other friends and I for any support whatsoever.

My friends and I are almost 100% sure that M and F’s relationship is what’s causing both of their problems. Both of them have gone way downhill mentally, emotionally, and socially ever since they started dating. They were both funny, hardworking, honors students that were joys to be around, and now they both barely reflect their prior selves. They can’t stand not being around each other, with each of them going to extreme lengths to meet up when school is not in session (biking at midnight, disobeying parents, etc.) Literally, every single person in our small school, from the teachers to the students, believe they should end it because of how much their relationship has destroyed them. My friends and I have tried so much to get them help, but neither of them are cooperating.

How do I save both of them from going deeper down this rabbit hole?

This was nowhere near all of the details to this story, ask me below if you want me to elaborate and/or add more. I don’t care if this gets lost in new, I just want at least one other person to talk about this with.

Thank you for your time.

TL:DR My friends are very dependent on each other to sustain their mental health, but by doing so, is driving both of them further into unhealthy states of mind. My friends and I have tried our hardest to get them both help, but they aren’t cooperating and are sticking to their toxic habits.

Submitted May 26, 2019 at 04:55PM by Joeyjas http://bit.ly/2Wr6m0E