Me and "Jake" have been dating for 4 years, lived together for a year and a half, and then last year we decided to live apart for a while because I was very unsatisfied when we lived together (lack of intimacy, feeling like he wouldn't do any chores, etc..) since living apart our relationship has definitely improved and we have been playing to move back in with each other when my lease is up next week.
Recently though he has been making me feel like I am absolutely insane because I keep freaking out over the smallest things, for example, I like Cheetos, he knows I like Cheetos, when he is at the store and asks if I want anything, I'll politely ask if he can get me up some Cheetos, then when he comes home, he shows me he bought Takis, usually I'll be like "lol why did you get me Takis, i asked for Cheetos?". He will always apologize and say he didn't even realize I wanted Cheetos. Now normally I'm like "its cool don't worry, thanks for picking me something up anyway"
Obviously, that to me is how a relationship should be, explain the problem, talk it out, move on. Now here's where it gets annoying, 2 days later he'll be out at the store again, ask what I want, I specifically said "not Takis lol, Cheetos ;)" then he comes home without buying me anything so I'm like :/ "why did you ask if I wanted something if you weren't going to get me anything" and of course I'm met with "Oh I'm sorry, I totally forgot to get Cheetos, that was my bad I'm sorry babe!" I say it's whatever and I'll just buy em for myself next time.
I start buying Cheetohs from now on, easy solution, right? Well, he comes over and eats all my Cheetos?! I say "wtf dude like why are you intentionally trying to make me upset, I specifically bought these for myself, we already had 2 issues with the Cheetohs why did you eat them??" he again profusely apologizes saying that he "didn't even realize babe, I know I'm being an idiot recently, it was completely just a lack of foresight", I don't know what to do so I end up just rolling my eyes. He offers to fix it by going to the store right then and buying me Cheetohs. I'm like um whatever just stop being annoying. He acknowledges he is being annoying and goes to the store to try and fix things..
He proceeds to call me from the store saying he's sorry, and he's going to make it up to me, so you know what he does? He comes home with fucking Spicy Doritos!? At this point, I feel like he's just trying to piss me off or something?! I legit yell at him "WTF WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY TF DID YOU GO TO THE STORE AND BUY ME DORITOS?!?" obviously I know that was an overreaction but at this point, I've lost all my patience. He again gets all upset that he messed up and he's confused why I'm freaking out over chips.. he is almost crying saying he knows he's an idiot and that it was just a mistake that he grabbed them. So obviously I'm like questioning my reality of the events happening?? So I basically tell him to "just go home I don't really want to deal with a stupid argument tonight"
This is just one example obviously, but this sort of problem is in almost every aspect of our relationship on the most trivial things. It has become so formulaic and something like this or similar happens probably 2-3 times a week at this point. I don't know what to do because he will do something silly or thoughtless, Ill be a little annoyed, he will acknowledge that it annoyed me, we will move on, and usually within 24 he will do something similar again, Ill get pretty annoyed, he will do it again, I'll get pissed off, he continues to apologize and acknowledge my feelings, and then do it again till I start screaming about some small issue. It's so frustrating constantly questioning your own sanity because every damn time he will look me in the eyes and apologize, fully acknowledging he was in the wrong. I truly don't feel he is doing anything out of malice either, I don't know though. I feel like I'm caught in a loop almost.
But as I said my lease is ending at the end of the week and the thought of living with these issues 24/7 makes me want to vomit.
Other than stuff like this ^ he is usually a very loving, generous, sweet, and supportive person. So the fact that I'm now writing this entire thing over stupid shit like chips, makes me feel like I'm insane, but I know if I just vent to him again he will just apologize and it will happen again in an hour. Thanks for reading those of you who got this far, just looking for some different perspectives right now on what I should do.
TL;DR: Fiance does a small annoying thing, I get annoyed, he says sorry but keeps doing it, I get mad, he acknowledges its annoying and he will stop, but then continues to do it, I freak out, he gets upset that I freak out over small things.
Submitted May 29, 2019 at 05:41AM by imustbecray http://bit.ly/2WeCDbW
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