My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. Back in April, I noticed he was following lewd instagram models and liking their pictures. I got very upset, and he was very defensive. We were able to work past it, but recently, more information came to light.
He also follows random girls that he doesn't know, that post sexy photos. They are usually girls from other universities, and are not really models. That left a really bad taste in my mouth; if he knew them, I wouldn't have issues with him following them. But following people he doesn't know means that he followed them for the sole purpose of looking at their body. And since they aren't models, and they are very attractive average people, it really gets me down about myself too.
I wouldn't say I'm insecure about myself at all. I know I'm in the attractive range for average people. But when it comes to big butt, tiny waist, perfect proportioned girls, where do I compete?
I asked why he followed them, and he said he saw his friends liking those pictures, and decided to follow (before our relationship). But it irks me that he would participate in such thirsty behavior, and argue with me to keep it going.
I talked to him, and he told me that their photos are nice to look at, and gave me a "Sorry, but ya I follow models and stuff." He basically declared that he would continue following them, and that I had to deal with my own uncomfortableness. I felt bad that he didn't even try to take some action, and show me that he really cares about how I feel.
In the end, he agreed to unfollow them as they come up on his feed. But it feels so forced. For me, I don't follow randos based on their looks. And if I did, I would unfollow in a heartbeat if he was ever uncomfortable. But that is not reciprocated from him; he wants to put up a fight, and finally agree at the end. I don't feel understood or supported. I never feel as though my feelings are considered, or matter to him.
I guess the biggest thing I'm hurt by right now is how little I'm understood. I feel like the issue has become bigger than just him following people. I'm finally seeing how inconsiderate he is.
And for those that want to argue about me being upset. I've already spent hours reading about this topic on different forums and such, and I'm standing up for myself. A man that partakes in these instagram habits are not a man I can respect.
My question here is, how can we move through this? How can I rationalize his extreme resistance; basically choosing eye candy over his girlfriend's feelings?
TLDR: Boyfriend displays extreme resistance when confronted about his motivations behind his Instagram activities. Feel hurt regarding the lack of understanding regarding this issue. Not sure how to move forward, or digest the situation.
Submitted May 26, 2019 at 11:38AM by ComfortableBa http://bit.ly/2MbydOk
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