Sorry for the long post!
My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years, 1 of which has been long distance. When he moved away, he asked for nudes, and I was hesitant at first because I really don't want anyone to have permanent photos of me like that. Eventually I agreed to send them over Snapchat, just asking that he not screenshot any with my face in them.
Well, when I went to visit them, a thumbnail of a pic of me popped up on his computer while he was showing me something, and I said: "hey, I said no pictures with my face" (not angrily or anything, I just thought maybe there was a misunderstanding). He quickly closed it down and said the pic wasn't me (it was pretty small in the thumbnail, but I was pretty certain it was myself). Eventually he broke down and said he couldn't lie to me and that he used his computer to take pictures of my photos, but he felt so guilty looking at them that he deleted them all (or so he thought). Turns out they were all deleted (we went through his computer together), but the thumbnails don't necessarily delete when you just delete the picture.
Things were rocky after this and I was really upset, but with time I was able to move past it. Eventually I started sending him pics again, and I suggested doing this over the chat function so that he had 24 hours to view them. But he didn't like this because then he couldn't open our chat in public without fear of someone else seeing them. So I agreed to let him keep them even though I was uncomfortable with it (I didn't express this discomfort at the time and I know that was a mistake, but I just wanted him to be happy).
After sending a few, I decided I would only send more without my face, or with some form of clothing on. Yesterday, I sent a few of these, and when we called each other later that night, he said he wished I would send him more nudes. I kind of got defensive and said: "don't you have enough?" Which led to me expressing my discomfort with them, and he questioned me about it, so I said: "Well what if you get really mad at me and do something with them?" (e.g. If we broke up). And this made him furious. I know it was probably a stupid thing to say, but it is a worry of mine, and not specifically of him, just of anyone in general.
I tried to tell him that I don't mean anything personal by it, but I don't want anyone having permanent photos of me like that. So, he deleted all the photos right away, but he's still absolutely pissed that I think he might do something with them, and he says he thought I thought more highly of him.
I just want advice about what to say to him. I do trust him, but that still doesn't make me comfortable with anyone having my nudes. How do I convey that better to him without hurting his feelings?
tl;dr: Boyfriend is upset that I am afraid of the consequences of him having my nudes. He thinks I don't trust him, and that I must think really poorly of him if I think he might do something with them. What do I say to convince him that I do trust him, and that it's nothing personal, I'm just afraid of the consequences of anyone having my nudes?
Submitted May 29, 2019 at 07:40PM by randomuser1480 http://bit.ly/2MeEhG1
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