We've been together for 3 years, living together for 2 years. I always knew that he used reddit, but I didn't bother about looking for him because it didn't matter to me all that much and I wanted to respect his privacy. I'm a frequent reddit user as well, and while I make no attempt to hide my account, I'm not open about my activities on reddit.
I hopped on his computer one day to print something out and saw that reddit was open on his computer. I thought it would be fun, so I tagged him in RES so if I saw him comment or post in the wild I would know it was him.
This didn't come up until a few months later, I was reading an /r/AskMen thread about what the biggest turn-offs were and I saw him comment about being completely disgusted by fat women and that he'd never date a 'landwhale'. My morbid curiosity got the better of me and I explored further, and found more comments in the vein of FPH, saying fat people have no self-control and eat burgers and cake all day. That they're all delusional about how much they eat. That seeing their cottage cheese thighs made him want to barf. He commented about (not on) posts on /r/NormalNudes and made degrading comments about the women's bodies on there (many who resemble mine), disparaging their sagging breasts and stretchmarked bodies. He also comments on various petite NSFW subs and is vocal about his preference for small, tight bodies and smaller breasts because they don't get 'saggy and gross' like larger breasts do.
This was a gut punch for me. I've been 'fat' for all of my adult life. When we met I was considered fat, and in the process of losing weight. We fasted 20/4 together and I regularly went to the gym for powerlifting and cardio. A year in I was hit with medical issues that culminated in me having my thyroid surgically removed. Since then I've put on all the weight I lost and then some, and am pushing 250lbs. My self-confidence is in the toilet and I can't stand looking at my naked body.
My boyfriend, by contrast, is incredibly fit, exercises daily, has a physical labor job, and is hyper-conscious of everything he puts in his body. He loves cooking for me and exploring new restaurants, and I've never felt shamed for my eating habits by him. He knows the portions I eat (about half what he does... and he usually eats my leftover half too) and knows I'm not stuffing my face with pizza and ice cream every day like he claims fat people do.
In addition, my breasts have always been larger than average for my size and are not immune to gravity in the least and the up and down of my weight has also taken a toll on them. My boyfriend has never been shy about his love for my breasts, through words, touching and attention, and told me that I should not be ashamed of my breasts, or any part of my body.
My boyfriend has been super supportive throughout the entire relationship, before the medical issues he encouraged me to not push myself in the pursuit of losing weight and 'looking better', and that as long as I was healthy and happy, the number on the scale or the inches on the tape didn't matter. After my medical issues cropped up and in the ensuring recovery he actively insisted that I stop working out and return to an intuitive diet so my body would not be stressed and I could focus on getting better. He's taken it upon himself to monitor my health and blood levels and do his own research and bring up issues with my doctor.
I could not ask for a better person to lean on throughout all of this, but after seeing his posts I'm heartbroken. I've always thought that actions speak louder than words, but seeing him say those things make me question this entire relationship. Has anything he's ever said or done been truthful? How can I trust someone that is so two-faced?
TL;DR I found my boyfriend's reddit account, and saw he has a history of making derogatory comments about fat people and their bodies. I am fat, and IRL he is very supportive and understanding about my weight issues. I don't know what to believe anymore.
Submitted May 29, 2019 at 08:24AM by 9zd3 http://bit.ly/2EFcF6I
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