I [24F] cancelled my wedding after my ex-fiance [33M] cheated at his bachelor party. It's two months later and he won't leave me alone.

To make a long story short, my ex-fiance got a handjob and made out with a woman during his bachelor party 2 weeks before our wedding. I found out a few nights later when one of his friends with a guilty conscience told me. At first, I was devastated. I truly loved him with every fiber of my being and I felt like someone ripped my heart out. It was an earth shattering feeling. I also felt like an idiot because he had cheated on me when we were dating so I felt like I almost deserved it or at least seen it coming. Not only that, but all the money, time, and effort spent planning the wedding just a complete waste.

I confronted him, he confessed but downplayed it. Said it didn't mean anything, he felt pressured because it was "his last night of freedom," and when he said that I absolutely lost it. But also something just clicked. Like, in a "What the fuck. He would be lucky to be able to spend the rest of his life with me. It's not some sort of fucking obligation but he clearly feels like it is and I'm not gonna be married to a man who acts like his wife that he asked to marry is some ball and chain" way. I got my things at his place and left. I haven't spoken to him since.

The process of cancelling the wedding 10 days before was exhausting and embarrassing. I told my friends and family what happened, and simply told his friends and family that we weren't going forward with it. Since, my ex-fiance has not left me alone. He has been showing up at my apartment at night, incessantly calling me, messaging my sister, my mom, my brothers. Looking up my friends and begging them to pass a message on to me, hanging out at places I usually do to try to see me. I blocked his number and all of his social media, but he still emails me and I haven't figured out how to block him on there. Most of his emails are him pathetically begging for me back, telling me how lost and heartbroken he is, how he'll never move on. Some of them beg for closure. It's just....a lot. It's gotten to a point where my mom thinks I should file a restraining order because she fears for my safety. I don't, but I just want him to leave me alone.

A little part of me feels bad for basically ghosting him and like it wasn't deserved. I spent 4 years of my life with him and thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. But I've spent the last few months trying to move on and I can't do that if he won't let me be. I don't want to have to contact him ever again, but I feel like a short email telling him to leave me alone would be better than going straight to a restraining order. Any advice is appreciated.

tldr; Fiance cheated during bachelor party, I confronted him, canceled the wedding, and haven't spoken to him since. He won't stop basically stalking me.

Submitted May 28, 2019 at 11:35PM by throwaway08021987 http://bit.ly/2I33UnO