I posted on here a few days ago and talked about what I was feeling. I got a private message telling me to look up retroactive jealousy online. I did and sure enough that’s what I have in my relationship. We’ve been dating for almost 2 months. She’s literally one of the most positive influences I’ve had in my life and I’m very thankful for my relationship with her. When we started dating, she told me she had sex once when she was 17 with a friend..it was just a hookup. I was a virgin up until last night (lost it to her obviously). The thing is that my mind keeps replaying a scene in my head of that friend (thankfully I don’t know what he looks like) on top of her. I think of how she felt/her facial expressions. It’s not healthy at all. When I’m with her I barely think of it, but when I’m not with her, whenever my mind is floating it usually returns to that scene. I just need advice on how other people have gotten past this. I haven’t let it enter the relationship but it is turning my head into a toxic area. I don’t want to tell her because it isn’t her fault, but I almost let it slip a few times. Before you answer, listen to this: -I’m not a bad guy, I treat her with so much respect -I know that the incident is in her past and that i wasn’t in her life at that time -I know that it isn’t feasible for me to think this way, as all my future relationships will probably be with people who aren’t virgins -Please don’t tell me to “just get over it.” I know I need to get over it. I can’t...I’m seeking help for a reason. -In the end, I know this isn’t her fault. It’s something wrong with me and my mind. She is a great person and makes me happy. I need help overcoming this one thing in her past that is taking away from the joy I get from the relationship. If you read this far, thank you. I’m trying my best to grow as a person, and I’m sure I’ll mature out of this situation. I’ll try to respond to the helpful comments.
TL;DR- I suffer from RJ and need help getting over it before it overtakes the relationship.
Submitted May 28, 2019 at 07:16PM by RLLit http://bit.ly/2HIcKIB
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