I've been dating my girlfriend for six months. After a few weeks of meeting, we decided to become sexually active. At the time she said she had an IUD so I was like 'great' and didn't think anything of it.
Fast Forward to recently and she said casually in passing that her IUD expired. The next day I mentioned that it bothered me that her IUD is expired as we've been having unprotected sex and that I'm 1) not yet ready to be a father and 2) still not 100% sure I want to marry her at this time.
I voiced my concerns that I was uncomfortable with her comments about the IUD expiring and she played it off like it wasn't a big deal and said she was joking. She has joked a few times about getting pregnant, but never going to the extent of suggesting she doesn't have active birth control. I asked for confirmation that she does indeed have a working IUD, and she became extremely defensive (which was expected to some extent since it was a sensitive topic and I can see how it can be viewed as a trust issue on top of my concerns). She proceeded to become very defensive and told me that her previous long term ex BF never questioned this, that she could date any guy in our lovely southwestern hometown, and that I'd be extremely lucky to have a child with her vs actually addressing my concerns.
When i shared my concerns, I tried to do so in a very non accusatory manner and from the perspective that I had a concern vs her doing or not doing something. No one shouted and for the most part it was very civil, but she was extremely defensive. After the initial discussion, we talked about it 24 hours later but it was essentially the same outcome. After separate ~30 minute discussions she has yet to understand why I'm concerned and seems to have no plans to provide confirmation. This has led me to say that I'll be using condoms from now on, and she is not happy about this.
While I do understand that my basic ask of "prove to me you have active birth control" can be interpreted many ways, I really don't think it's an irrational ask when we're having unprotected sex and she's been inconsistent in saying if she does. Overall things are good in our relationship. She's hasn't given me reason to not trust her, so I really don't think that this isn't a manifestation or projection of something else that bothers me.
Anyways, am I in the wrong or being irrational? This isn't about never wanting kids or not liking her, it's really just that right now in life, I am not ready to be a father and while I understand mistakes happen, I want to be as diligent as possible.
TL;DR: GF told me she's on IUD birth control, then she told me she's not, then she told me she was. When I asked for confirmation because she has told me different things, she has been very defensive and does not seem to want to provide confirmation
Submitted May 29, 2019 at 09:53AM by 81312jams http://bit.ly/2XeUcF9
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