Six months into the relationship, we went away for a birthday trip to New Orleans in which he started drinking a lot and being verbally threatening, very angry, generally holding me responsible for his experience and it spiraled and got worse. He spat on me, broke some pens, but never hit me. We were with my two friends and he did this behavior in front of them even, and woke us all up in the night to be threatening to us, yelling at us and call us names after not leaving the Airbnb after we asked him to. He lit a cigarette in the house and flicked the ash on one of my friends. My other friend called the cops and they showed up but weren't able to make him leave (but did get him to stop harassing us).
When we got back, I told him to stop texting me and felt very very scared. He showed up at my house unannounced and waited outside my house for hours and finally left (and later, my dad, who I lived with, found a car door lock picking bar in our recycling bin). I called a hotline and followed their advice for communicating that I wanted him to refrain from reaching out or coming to my house.
I've been very fearful of him since the trip to New Orleans, and near the beginning of the breakup, I was afraid of any messages on my phone for fear it might be him trying to contact me in some new way, since he was doing things like texting me with an alternate number after I blocked his number and tagging me on Instagram and stuff like that. When I was catsitting for my friend last month, he showed up outside her door waiting for me to try and talk to me. I've kept everything he's done documented since I initially told him to stop trying to reach out to me or come to my house.
And then now, I went away for 10 days across the pond and I come back and there's evidence that my balcony door was pushed from the outside (as if someone were forcing their way in) and there's a bent-up wire hanger (for lockpicking) left ON MY BED. While we were dating he would talk about breaking into things and once I watched him pick a lock in this way with a wire hanger, so I know he can do it.
I unblocked his numbers just now and saw in one of his messages that he was asking for his favorite shirt back. It's possible he broke in just to get the shirt and nothing else. I don't see anything missing or damaged besides the balcony door lock that was forced. But also, WTF. (For the record, there was a point in which I offered to send him anything of his and he said "no.") My feelings are fear and helplessness. Every time he's reached out to me or surprised me in some new and unwanted way since New Orleans, I think to myself, "maybe this will be the last time and I don't need a restraining order."
TL;DR My ex has been stalking me and maybe broke into my house while I was on vacay to take back his favorite shirt and I want him to stop this shit.
So, r/relationships, do you have advice for me?
Update: Thanks for the advice, I called the police to report the incident.
Submitted May 28, 2019 at 06:36PM by MrFarce http://bit.ly/2I2EYNj
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