Hi relationships.
Posting here on a throwaway since my wife sometimes cruises through Reddit and we share memes.
To cut right to the chase, my wife and I have an amazing life.
We met seven years ago at Army Basic training and were fast friends. She was headed for the National Guard and I was active- but as luck would have it, I got stationed extremely close to where she lived. We hung out regularly, were best friends. I helped her move apartments, get over breakups- and eventually we sort of just fucked.
Now, I mean that in the best possible way. It sort of just... happened. We were best friends, and had spoken frankly about kinks that we shared, the sex we enjoyed- everything. So when it came down to it, it wasn't sleeping together or making love, it was hard, wonderful fucking.
Our relationship was sort of built around that night. We started dating, and promptly attended Shibari and bondage classes, got into lots of different things we both enjoyed. All in all, we were perfect for each other.
About 18 months into the relationship we hit our first roadblock. I was deployed to Afghanistan, my mother divorced my step-father and disappeared for a few weeks, and my grandfather passed the night before I left. I didn't leave country in a good place. A lot happened while I was deployed, and suffice it to say that when I got back I wasn't exactly the best to her. I got the help I need, and am in a much better place.
But during that time when I got back, my wife got pregnant and then gave birth to my wonderful- perfect son. We fell into the rhythm of being a happy family, but things had changed. Once my son was born, all her sexual desire vanished. We were as happy as we could be, both living successful lives and working toward building a strong future- but there's no fire there. In the three years since his birth, I can count on one hand how many times we've had sex. Normally, this wouldn't be that big of an issue for me. I'm a guy with high libido- but I try to understand where my partner is coming from. However... three years later and I can count on one hand how many times we've had sex. It's a challenge for me. It feels like the woman I knew, the woman who would attack me like a wolverine with the most passion and fire I've ever seen in someone's eyes is... just gone.
These days she comes home from work, falls asleep on the couch. I finish dinner, she eats when she wants- and leaves taking care of our son to me for the most part.
We've attended therapy and she's even gotten hormone tests to see if her levels are normal- but everyone says she's fine. She's not depressed, she's just tired and overworked. But even before this new job we didn't sleep together hardly at all. I've suggested everything to her from being as vanilla as they come (like lady on her back and hand-holding, you sick freaks.) and turning the kink up to 11 to see if it sparks something. These days however, it seems she only wants to have sex if she's drunk. (Besides one morning where she traded sex for me making cinnamon rolls- that was a good morning)
Her suggestion has been polyamory.
The only woman I want and will ever want, is her. She's the light of my life and I wouldn't want someone else but she doesn't see any alternatives and I'm starting not to see any either.
I need your help. Has anyone seen this kind of thing before? A sudden loss of desire and sexual appetite? I know it's something of a long shot posting here- but I'm hoping to find some answer I haven't found yet.
In truth, I'm learning to accept a chaste life. But neither one of us will be happy that way. That's all I want, is for us to be happy.
Thanks guys.
TL;DR- How do you fix relationship built around sex when the desire for her to have sex has vanished?
Submitted May 31, 2019 at 10:43AM by ThrowAwayCB650 http://bit.ly/2HNvWEM
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