Houseowners (late50s/early60s M and F) got a VERY anxious rescue dog, left on vacation a mere month after getting her. Hired me (23F) to housesit, didn’t warn me how bad this dog was. I’m overworked, stressed, running on low sleep, and owners don’t care. I need a way to get out ASAP

TL;DR: Owners (late50s/early60s M and F) got a VERY anxious rescue dog, left on vacation a mere month after getting her. Hired me (23F) to housesit, didn’t warn me how bad dog was. I’m overworked, highly stressed, running on low sleep, and owners don’t care and W is “very disappointed”. I need a tactful way of exiting ASAP.

Husband (H) of the couple sent department-wide email asking for house sitter while he and wife (W) are vacationing on the other side of the globe, 14 hours into the future. IMPORTANT: I do not work under him in any capacity, but will likely see him at random events here and there until my work here is finished in 4 years.

I respond with interest, head over to meet the animals / tour the house in April. I have housesat, catsat, and dogs for many people (~8?) and everyone thus far has been happy with my work. Their house is like a mini-farm: about 7 chickens, 1 cat, 2 dogs. W works from home and collects/hoards TONS of items - house is FILLED with knick knacks, random vintage items, random equipment, etc. Cat is amazing, well behaved, sweet, cuddly, and an amazing kitty to be around.

Dog 1 (D1) is EXTREMELY well behaved - listens to all commands, great off leash, very calm, listens to commands, sits, eats his pills, happy to take a bath, gives paws to wipe feet, etc. Dog 2 (D2) is a brand new rescue dog - EXTREMELY anxious, runs away from new people, scared of fans, won’t even eat treats when scared, etc. She is a flight risk and has attempted to run away already. I’m mildly apprehensive at all this, but W assures me that D2 will be fully housebroken and well trained by the time of their departure. Since D1 is actually the best behaved dog I have EVER met, I am hopeful that D2 will be doing a bit better in the ~5 weeks between then to their departure.

Between then to departure, M emails me with regular updates about how great D2 is doing. D2 apparently can be outside, meet other dogs, lots of positive growth, etc. Note: They have told me to keep D2 crated while I am out of the house as she will chew on the furniture.

BUT THIS DOG IS A NIGHTMARE!

I’ve been keeping reports of the house for them, here are some excepts of what I sent them:

~~~~~~

May 15: Diarrhea on hallway rug sometime at night, did not eat her dinner.

May 16: Peed on hallway rug

May 17: Diarrhea on hallway rug sometime in night, Peed on rug by door sometime in night, Vomited 10am, did not eat breakfast so I put in into her crate and she ate it while I was at work.

May 19: Pooped on rug by porch door

May 18: Vomited 2x at 5am. It’s saturday, so I took the dogs out 6am, 8:30am, 11am, etc. much more than usual. After we went out at 11am she walked over to a rug and pooped on it while I was making lunch. We went out at 2:30pm, she pooped on the bathroom rug between 2:35-2:50pm sometime. Started anti-anxiety medications here (vet prescribed them prior to owners departure).

May 19: peed front door rug.. I was giving her belly rubs and noticed her tummy making a lot of weird sounds – unsure if this is normal?

May 20: Woohoo! No accidents!!! Switched over to the sensitive stomach food.

May 21: vomited in hallway in evening

May 22: no accidents!!!

May 23: Peed in the hallway.

May 24: she eats her medicine if I drop it in with the food,yay! It does seem like her medicine makes her less anxious. Peed on the white couch.

May 25: peed on the white couch, vomited outside.

May 26: Peed on the front rug

(not in document but May 27: pooped in house in the morning, peed twice)

(not in document but May 28: N took D2 out for a walk around 1pm while I was at work, D2 peed in the house after the walk)

I’m feeding the dogs at 6am and again around 5/5:30pm. Both dogs go out before breakfast ~5:55am, before I go to work ~8:30am, once I get back ~4:30pm, once when I have dinner ~7:30pm, again before bed ~10:00pm. Each time we do a minimum walk around the entire backyard (backyard is about a half acre in size), occasionally I’ll bring my phone an watch videos while the dogs hang out for an hour or so. On weekends the dogs go out every 2-3 hours for a total of 8-9 times per day.

~~~~~~~

Clearly this dog is not adjusting to a new person, new home, so many changes, having to be crated for ~7 hours a day etc. I kept the owners in the loop about her behavior in case they had suggestions / ideas/ etc and so they could be aware of how their home is doing.

Below are some excepts from the emails from the W:

~~~~~

We do miss the doggies and <cat> terribly. I know what you mean about D2 being confused about her world but I’m happy you’re there to help her through. It did cross my mind that adopting a new dog before we went away for such a long time might not be the best idea but I fell in love with her and wanted her in our family so I didn’t hesitate more than a second or two!

Since I work from home I didn’t think about how D2 might react with less human contact.

~~~~~~

I am EXHAUSTED mentally, emotionally, and physically. Every day I’m sleeping for about 5 hours at a stretch at most before D2 either whines or poops or vomits or pees somewhere and I am awoken by the smell or sound. I haven’t seen my friends because I can’t invite people over. D2 is so scared of people that upon seeing some strangers she will immediately pee where she is - lying down, standing up, on a couch, on the floor, in the crate, etc. I REALLY enjoy my job and would like to be there from 8am-4pm most days. Because of D2 I have cut this down to 10am-4pm, and my work has been impacted. My therapist agrees that this is badly affecting my mental health as well. Since May 11 I have been sleeping in anxious apprehension - and this is supposed to continue until June 15.

Yesterday (May 27), D2 pooped in the house again and I finally hit my breaking point. I called their son 28?M (who lives about a block away) (we’ll call him S) to come over to see what we could do to help D2 out. S was very sympathetic, even mentioned he didn’t understand why W got D2 so soon to their departure. We talk a bit, he is very kind to how hard I am working for the two dogs + plants + garden + cat + chickens etc. During this time we are outside with D1 and D2 for about an hour.

So then we call up W+H, they don’t offer much in the way of suggestions. I suggested perhaps finding someone through their initial call for applications (I am told they received multiple people), or seeing if S or their very kind neighbor (N) can help out. At that moment, N happens to come over and we fill her in with the discussion so far. While me + S + N + H + W are talking, D2 pees indoors not once, but twice. S goes to walk both dogs while N and I continue talking.

W is upset that I have not taken D2 for hikes - but the hikes I go on with D1 have people, other dogs (some of which are bad around other dogs), occasional loud noises from people/children/etc, and since D2 is a flight risk, I don’t want to be responsible if she does try to run away (which she has tried to do MULTIPLE times with H + W). I also learn here that N offered to housesit for H+W for their trip for this month.

The conclusion thus far is that N will come into the house and take D1 and D2 out once a day. N will also be taking D2 to the vet tomorrow to check for anything that could be causing D2’s behavior ex. bladder infection.

When I hang up the phone, the screen defaults to text messages between S and W. I can see that S has asked for W to talk with us and that I am working hard but D2 is a lot to handle. In response, W has written “She is favoring D1 too much. We are very disappointed in her.”

I am CRUSHED by this. I have been sacrificing my sleep, time, energy, mental health, physical health, and emotional health. I am sleep deprived, cleaning mess after mess, stressing constantly, trying my hardest - and either W doesn’t realize this or she does but just doesn’t care! Had I known D2 was not housebroken or couldn’t handle more than 2-3 hours in a crate (which is what she had when with the stay-at-home W), I would have declined the position.

To just dismiss all my hard work like that, not even care about how much I’m suffering - I can’t do it anymore. Up until this point, I was willing to continue to sacrifice and work hard for these animals - because I DO love animals. I’ve sat for so many houses/dogs/cats, I genuinely enjoy being around them, caring for them, and making sure they have a good time. But I can’t continue to sacrifice my own life and sanity while knowing W is already “very disappointed” with me.

ADVICE NEEDED:

I would like everyone’s advice on how to inform them I need to leave this position. Tentatively, I am thinking of writing an email with the following: 1) informing them that I can’t do this anymore 2) knowing that she is disappointed in me tells me she does not care for the hard work and sacrifices I am making for these animals 3) I wish to be out of the house by Saturday (or sooner, ideally) or whenever my replacement can start, whichever comes sooner 4) I’m happy to give back the money they have given me if they would like. I would appreciate advice on how to write this, how to best explain it (since it will need to be over email), or if there are any other options that might be better.

​

I would like to send this email within the next few hours while it is still daytime on their continent so they can respond quickly.

Submitted May 28, 2019 at 12:26PM by throwaway_rels_help http://bit.ly/30NnfSy