I (21f) first met my best friend (20f) because she made out with my high school boyfriend. My current boyfriend (28m) found out how we met and is now very judgemental towards her.

I met my best friend in a very weird way. I used to be dating this boy named Jason in high school, and I had a feeling he wasn't loyal to me but honestly I didn't care because I was going through a lot and I wanted out of the relationship and I was too unassertive to say anything. (Trust me, I've grown up since then)

I heard gossip that Jason and this girl Lia who was a sophomore had hooked up behind my back. People had seen them at some party.

I didn't care either way really, I was going through a lot at home (abusive family, desperately trying to get my finances in order before college because I couldn't count on my parents for support. Stuff getting really bad at home because my parents realized I was making steps to be totally independent and no longer under their control. Etc.) The drama was literally the last thing on my mind, I was so preoccupied by all the huge stressful changes coming up in my life.

Then Lia came to meet one day after lunch, she wanted to talk. She said she and Jason had been at a party, she had a idea he was taken but she couldn't quite remember if she was right. She didn't know him well enough to know I was his girlfriend. And she was shitfaced drunk for the first time in her life. Jason was hitting on her, and she went along with it. She knew it was wrong, but she didn't stop him. She was really drunk and not thinking clearly, just going along with dumb impulses, and she went along with it. And she kissed back when he kissed her. She woke up the next day feeling a huge amount of guilt and regret.

And she was telling me all this because she felt really shitty about herself, and couldn't live with it if she kept what had happened a secret from me.

And I genuinely wasn't angry. I actually respected her a great deal for coming clean to me, and not trying to lie or minimize anything. I also knew what it was like to make poor decisions under the influence, I'd made some bad choices in my life after trying to drink to escape shit going on in my life before. So I forgave her. It wasn't worth it to me to punish her any worse than the nasty high school rumor mill already was.

We didn't become friends right away. That happened when we coincidentally got jobs at the same McDonald's that summer. It was a shitty job, in a shitty area, and we bonded, kind of out of necessity. But with time, I realized she was a loyal and honest friend. She was accountable for having messed up, stopping drinking after that party. And we both agreed that Jason had been a total ass.

So yeah, that's how I became friends with the girl I was cheated on with. We ended up both going to the big state college in our home state, and we stayed good friends. The high school drama became just a joke to us, far in the past. We'd even joke about it sometimes.

I met my boyfriend Alex in college, he knew Lia from practically the beginning of our relationship. And they got along real well. I've been with Alex for 8 months now, and just recently the story about how Lia and I met came up. We were all hanging out with a group, and playing never have I ever. Someone said 'never have i ever hooked up with someone who was taken' and Lia drank to that (meaning she'd done it)

And when someone asked 'really', she said 'Yeah, that's basically how OP and I met. I made out with her boyfriend, one thing led to another, and now we're besties."

She said that in a pretty jokey way, but Alex pretty seriously asked me what was up with that. I talked to him more privately and told him the whole story, much like how I told it above. And he was really shocked by it, I could tell. He just kept asking me what I'd been thinking, how I could have been fine with things, and questions along those lines. I answered as honestly as I could but I just don't think he could see it from my perspective. He even said he couldn't trust someone who could do stuff like that, as a friend. And he didn't want to have anything to do with her in the future.

I was blown away. She's my best friend, and all this time, Alex has liked hanging out with her. Now some ancient high school drama is changing the way he sees her as a person?

I told him straight up that he better not be rude to her over this, and he agreed but said he wasn't about to be her busy either, or being her around his friends in relationships. Which came across as so excessive to me. And made me think he'd probably end up being rude anyway.

How can I get my boyfriend to make peace with how Lia and i met?

TLDR I met Lia when she came clean to me about making out with my high school boyfriend. I forgave her and we became friends, in a weird turn off events. My current boyfriend Alex found out the story of how we met and is judging her very hard, even though I've forgiven her and don't think she deserves that judgement.

Submitted May 28, 2019 at 12:41PM by Degmmild9 http://bit.ly/2YVkv3E