Never been in a situation were the parents expect their kids to be the "adults."

My 32F boyfriend 32M bought a house, while we were in our early months of dating. Nothing fancy, it was originally a duplex and we intended on renting the other half overtime to help pay off minor debt. Now, it's been almost 3 years of living together. We've had two different 6 months renters and things were going as planned. We were not renting the other half out anymore and had made plans to expand and make it a singular unit. When the private school, down the street, is finally finished, we had planned to sell and find something we could eventually retire in. We both have "certificate jobs", decent pay and really good credit.

A week ago his mom had been complaining that their camper could have formaldehyde in the material. She has arthritis. she felt she was getting sicker with already achy, inflamed joints.

His parents Dad 65, Mom 50 moved in three days ago.

His dad is a disabled home construction worker, who cannot legally work and his mom is in and out of jobs. I don't know the entirety of it, but from what my BF has stated, they moved a lot, living with family members because his dad was not good with money and his mom was a homemaker with three kids. So his dad has a crazy debt close to 70K. His mom has decent credit but can never keep it perfect because she runs her mouth at her jobs and runs away from them when she feels she had made "enemies." And misses a payment or two on her CC. She then proceeds to complain about that shitty job for a month or two before finding something else and trying to catch back up. I don't think they've cared enough about fixing their credit completely. They have lived in a camper for a couple years now, it's a cheap lot by a river with a view. Nothing fancy, but it is nice.

I google the formaldehyde issue and it seems made up. I don't think she is really taking care of herself and her arthritis is flaring up. BUT I could be completely wrong.

It's day three of their move in with us to see if she "gets any better," and now they want to stay. I get it, her dog has a yard to run in, she doesn't have "camper neighbors" 2 feet away and we have laundry on site.

They can't pay or help with bills. She's not working because she's sick and he's doing odd jobs to pay the lot fee (until September), and camper payment, in something they don't use anymore. Then they'll park it in our yard and not use it. BF's parents are nice, just slightly racists. His dad has even started fixing little things on their side and has said what he's going to do in the future. Killing all our ideas for OUR future.

On paper, it's BF's house, and we share every bill. He loves his parents, no matter what.

I don't want his parents to hold us back from what we had planned. We've talked about it. Seems like now it's going to be a long term thing, from just "a week or two," to maybe forever. Even if we sell it to them, it wouldn't be for what we could actually get out of it. That's if, his mom could get approved by a bank. From our talk, he is going to choose his parents over what I say. I'm thinking when we do sell, his parents will move in with us to the new place. "Until they find them something." I don't want that. It's unfair.

I'm not entitled to what he worked for, but I thought we had a plan together for the long run. I've worked really hard for what I do have, BF works really hard too. The whole situation has bugged the crap out of me for the last three days. I'm considering moving out, and started looking for apartments last night. I know if I leave that'll be 3 years gone.

He wants to be there for his family, and I want to be "selfish" with my future. Has anyone gone through something similar? I'm lost at what to do, besides "run away" like his mom tends to do.

TLDR;My parents live across the country and do well. Never been in a situation were the parents expect their kids to be the "adults." IDK

Submitted May 06, 2019 at 06:41AM by fkingsandbag http://bit.ly/2VL0EWX