My boyfriend (24M) has loaned me(27F) money more frequently recently and I feel awful and I feel like a leech.

He's done so much for me. I live alone and support myself. I used to work 2 jobs to do this and I recently quit because I just couldn't keep going working two jobs anymore. I quit my second job in February and I feel like I'm consistently drowning with finances. I feel like I budget appropriately but money is so tight that I don't have much wiggle room with unexpected bills.

He bought me a tire for my car in February and I paid him back last month. And then in March, he covered the other half for myself and my assistants to go to a mandatory conference for continuing education units that we all needed. I turned in his half to my boss and my boss cut me a check for 650 dollars to give back to him. I'll circle back to this point in a moment.

Also, at the beginning of April, I had to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out and because I don't have insurance, it cost 895 dollars up front. He paid for it and I told him I'd pay him back 150 each month until it's paid off. Which I did make my first payment to him in April of 150 dollars. On top of this, he and his mom bought all my groceries since I had to go on a special diet during recovery. To pay him back for this, I paid for his pedicure when we went to get pedicures together (Still early April when this happened. Shouldn't have gotten pedicures in the first place) and I treated us to dinner twice. Although both times, I could only afford places like Panda Express and Cafe Rio.

And then in the beginning of this month, I had to pay to register my car (175 dollars) and it was my turn (we take turns paying) to pay for getting my birth control injection. (50 dollars) to be able to do this, I've been driving for Uber most nights for the last two weeks. I haven't had to ask him for money. In fact I really try everything I can to avoid asking for help. I've been able to pay my rent on time, get my injection, and register my car all this week on top of paying for my cell phone for May. But now with groceries I bought last night to get me until my next payday that is on the 10th. I have 8 dollars in my checking account. I also have Netflix that is for work (I work in a nursing home as an activities director) going through this week. Which is 12 dollars and I won't be able to reimburse myself until I get petty cash on the 10th as well. I also have to drive to another facility that is over an hour and a half away for a training tomorrow and I have no gas.

I budget my ass off but I still feel like I'm drowning. I feel like had I not had to pay over 200 dollars in things I normally don't have to worry about right at the same time as rent, I would have been fine and in fact might not have needed to drive really much at all.

I really don't want to drive tonight. I've had a migraine since I woke up and I can't get rid of it.

I plan on driving tomorrow night and hope to make 100 bucks. But until then, I asked my boyfriend if I could hold onto that 650 dollars that was supposed to go back to him until all these little annoying things went through my account. I kind of hate myself for even asking. He said "of course!" but I can't help but wonder if he feels like I'm a money pit even though he tries to reassure me that I'm not. I struggle with accepting financial help. Money in past relationships has always been a thing held over my head in order to control me. I want to be able to say I can do this alone but right now I can't.

Am I a leech? Can anyone relate to this?

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TLDR; My boyfriend is constantly bailing me out and I'm trying to not even have to ask. Am I a money pit for needing help more often since quitting my second job?

Submitted May 02, 2019 at 03:56PM by paint_the_town_pink http://bit.ly/2Y9IdZV