My (29M) fiancée’s (27F) sister (28F) doesn’t want to be alone ever and it’s making my life miserable

(Throwaway because they both Reddit)

So my fiancée and I are set to be married in October and this should be the happiest time of our lives. She’s the most amazing person, we’ve been together for some time, been through so much together, and she is the perfect match for me. However, she has a sister that’s really close with her so getting alone time is a near impossibility.

They both used to live in a house together and grew up very close (both their parents passed). After we got engaged we had to work out a plan for her moving in with me slowly (her sister initially threw a fit because she thought I was stealing her sister from her). She’s moved in with me now and her sister lives in the house alone. Problem is, her sister refuses to be in the house alone because she’s scared, so instead we alternate nights between the three of us staying at the apartment and the house.

This is obviously incredibly frustrating and stressful. I have to pack an overnight bag almost every night and I am constantly forgetting things (shoes, deodorant, etc). The back and forth affects my job performance. Finally it’s just annoying that I don’t really get to spend alone time with my fiancée (and we don’t have sex if her sister is there).

The only alone time we get is when her sister’s boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away, stays at the house with her or she goes to his, which if I’m lucky is once a week. I don’t know if he doesn’t know or doesn’t care, but he’s not emotionally supportive of her and doesn’t seem to care about the hell this situation causes. When he is in town my fiancée and sister want us all to hang out but I refuse and look like a jerk (it’s literally our only alone time so I don’t wanted to do that). When the sister goes to the boyfriends house, they fight so she just ends up calling my fiancée all weekend anyway.

I feel pressure to make the most of the alone time we get so as soon as we’re alone I try to fit in a weeks worth of intimacy and have to hope that she’s in the mood.

I try to talk to my fiancée about this but she gets really defensive of her sister. She tries to tell me that she has a lot going on, she’s working things out and it will sort itself out , but I simply don’t see it. She also says that her sister doesn’t like being alone and she needs to be there for her. It’s 4 weeks from the wedding and she’s still spending 6 nights a week with us. My fiancée will not let me tell her sister how I feel because it will make her feel bad. She can’t understand how this could possibly be stressful to me.

Am I wrong for not wanting to allow this? I’m marrying my fiancée, not her sister, and I don’t think our marriage should start off with her sister staying with us 5+ nights a week with no end in sight.

I have an opportunity to deal with this tomorrow. All four of us (me, f, sister, bf) will be at her house tomorrow. I thought I had the weekend without the sister but her boyfriend goes home at the slightest shade of inconvenience - he has to work 8am Monday so he needs to go home tomorrow (Saturday). I seriously can’t take this anymore and it’s affecting our relationship (though my fiancée doesn’t think it does; she says we’re fine and she’s not worried about us). What should I do?

Tl;dr: my fiancée’s sister crashes on our couch constantly even though she has her own house because she’s afraid of being alone.

Submitted September 01, 2018 at 02:17AM by banana2031 https://ift.tt/2wx1OHU