I [21f] have expressed that I don't think bf's name-calling is funny and would like him to stop. He [24M] doesn't listen and continues to do it.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we both love each other very much. He's funny, silly and we get along really well.

I've noticed that whenever we argue, I always try to bring something up as a form of discussion - 'I feel like when you do [so and so] it makes me feel bad. Can we try not to do this in the future?' .. in this I refer to the fact that he always calls me names e.g. he calls me a 'rat' (one small example of this situation) or compares me to a 'demon' because of how my voice sounded at the time, because he thinks it's funny. I never make it a big deal at the time. I let him laugh at his joke and then I say 'aw, don't call me that' and he will argue with me until it becomes heated.

me: Please don't call me that I want it to stop because I myself don't think it's funny

bf: No, it's only cause you can't take a joke. It's just a fucking joke, stop being so sensitive and offended

me: I'm not offended, I just don't like it. If you told me I was doing something you didn't like, I would stop immediately. Also, I never call you any names like that so I expect the same respect in return

bf: (mumbles) no you're just being so snowflake-y rn and there must be something wrong with you today because you're being so sensitive about something that is a JOKE. Ask anyone they'll say it's a joke you're the only one who would be bothered by this. You just can't take it.

I get that it may be a joke but I don't like it and don't think it's funny. In fact, I think it's pretty stupid. He always makes these kinds of 'jokes' and then laugh at them himself even if I am not phased by them at all. This has been an ongoing thing our whole relationship. In his last relationship, they were completely fine with swearing at each other. I had to make it clear in the beginning that this is not ok with me and he has understood as he never actually swears at me, just calls me names and plays them off like he is joking.

Another thing is that when we talk about issues, instead of saying something like 'are you feeling emotional? are you ok?' he'll say 'ugh now you're just going to be emotional and I'm not dealing with it now' and he'll go and do his own thing and won't speak to me for hours.

tldr; boyfriend calls me names as a joke even though they're not funny. Also in arguments, he is very defensive and cannot talk about things like a discussion. What to do?

Submitted September 01, 2018 at 07:46AM by problemshomblems https://ift.tt/2Ca2NTM