My dad recently went through some serious health issues. We were afraid we were going to lose him. I looked into the possibility of organ donation. I wanted to find out if I was a match because if things had gotten worse he would have needed a donor. That's when I found out my dad is not my father.
I asked my mother about it. I had always known that my mom had gotten pregnant with me when she and my dad were in the middle of a divorce. They had gotten together one night to discuss things and had a little wine with dinner. One thing lead to another and then nine months later I was born.
What I didn't know is that a few days after hooking up with my father, my mother was approached by someone who went to her church and he attacked her. She explained that my dad knew about the attack, but both of them had always believed that I was his child because of the timing of everything.
To be honest, I am surprised I didn't figure it out sooner. I have older siblings that are definitely his. I don't look like them at all. They are very nordic in coloring where I am dark. More than that, I have always been the black sheep of my family. Personality-wise, I am also pretty different from everyone in my family. I've felt like an outsider for as long as I can remember.
If my dad suspected, though, he never let on. He cared for me and raised me just like he did for my siblings. I've never felt slighted by him in the least. When I was 8 or so, my evil grandmother once told me that I wasn't really my dad's and my mom had an affair (she told me this after I asked her why I looked so different from my siblings).
I have never seen my father so angry at someone. He is almost monk-like in his calm, but he YELLED at her. Later he told me I was his and he'd never had any doubt about it and she was just lying to hurt me. Now I am not sure if she was lying. Maybe my mom did have an affair. I don't have any way to verify it now.
Whoever my bio-father is, to me my dad is still my dad. He was the one that raised me and nothing will change that.
The thing I need to know is if I should tell him. Or my siblings.
At first I kept it to myself because I didn't want to add a terrible shock to my dad's health issues. Now he is out of the woods and doing much better.
I am not sure what good telling him would do. I feel like it would just upset him. I also suspect that at least one of my siblings would try to cut me out of the family inheritance if they knew....but the guilt of keeping such a huge secret it eating at me.
I had a rough time dealing with the bombshell of my unknown paternity. My mom can't or won't tell me anything about the other person. I wondered if I have siblings I don't know about. Of course, I can't do anything to find out because learning about my existence would just disrupt a bunch of other people's lives who probably don't need the extra chaos.
But I am still uncertain about telling my dad. On one hand it feels wrong to keep such a huge secret. On the other hand, I can't see how telling it would accomplish anything other than causing more pain.
**TL;DR - Found out my dad is not my bio-father after getting preliminary testing done to see if I could donate an organ to him. He doesn't know. Should I tell him or my siblings what I discovered?**
Submitted July 28, 2018 at 08:58AM by pussy_hugs https://ift.tt/2M02j2L
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