A friend (30M) from another city invited me (29F) to his house for a weekend. He moved into a fancy new condo and is extremely worried about losing the security deposit when he moves out: he kept telling me not to put my bag on a certain part of the floor, not to wash my hands in a way that would « backsplash » the wall, not to leave my shoes in the wrong part of the house and not to put my cup of tea on a certain part of the table. He even reminded of the last time I was there and dropped a piece of popcorn on the floor that he had to vacuum.
We have been friends for over five years and have a lot of fun when we go out but this made me feel extremely unwelcome. This is pretty antithetical to me and how I was raised — my family home was always full of friends and guests who were allowed to make themselves at home and touch/eat/spill anything. We always saw it as a natural part of having people over and never shamed anyone if something got broken or spilled (which, in my case, didn’t as I am naturally not a messy person and wasn’t doing anything other than putting my stuff aside and getting settled.)
I felt pretty insulted and said that I felt like I was being treated like I’m doing something wrong from the get-go. The friend then got mad and said that the least I could do in return for spending the weekend at his home was make it easy for him.
I am now analyzing the situation and wondering whether a) I am in the wrong since I am, after all, a guest b) he is in the wrong for making me feel unwelcome c) our hosting styles are just incompatable. Any thoughts? Just to make it clear, there is no romance involved in this - I am straight and he is gay.
TL;DR: A friend invited me to spend a weekend at his house and then scolded me for being messy (I wasn’t).
Submitted March 06, 2022 at 08:42PM by VirginieTurbot https://ift.tt/uxfAlLh
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