After 14 years together with my husband, I (34F) never thought I'd never be happy with anyone. It seemed impossible.
From the time my husband died, I kinda cut contact with everyone, and made it a regular habit of mine to eat my dinner all by myself. I found this cute Italian joint and made it my go to place. About two weeks ago, while I was in the middle of my meal, a guy asked me if he could join me as all the other tables were occupied, and service would take a while. I have no idea why, but I said yes, and what was supposed to be a short meal eventually turned out to be an hour long conversation. Of course, we never really got into personal stuff, but it turned out he loved the novelist Franz Kafka too, and we got to talking. His demeanor was just so calming, and he never once made me feel uncomfortable. Towards the end of the meal, he asked me if I'd go out with him. I politely refused, and he was totally understanding. I spent the next few days wondering if I should've said yes on one hand, and feeling guilty about somehow being "unfaithful" to my husband on the other.
About three days ago, I met him again. At the same restaurant. Turns out he was a frequent customer there too. He greeted me with the same smile and we got to talking again. This time, something came over me and I abruptly asked him whether his dinner offer was still on the table. He was pleasantly surprised, and agreed.
We went on a date yesterday. It was so weird, getting dressed up for the first time in three months. He came to pick me up, and was a perfect gentleman. We went to the same Italian place for dinner. Once dinner was over, he walked me back home. Before I went in, he politely asked me if he could kiss me. I was hesitant, and I guess he sensed that, so he dropped the topic, and headed home. I felt... happy before I went to sleep. For the first time in what feels like eternity.
When I spoke to my friend, she told me that she thought it was a little degrading I would dishonour the memory of my husband by going out with another man.
Is she right? Should I not be out with another man right now? Am I being unfaithful? If so, how long should is it socially acceptable before I put myself out there? Because I feel like not grieving about my husband would somehow dishonour his memory. But honestly (and I know I sound like a horrible person for saying this), I'm a little tired of grieving. I want to be... happy. There are just so questions running through my mind, which is why I came here for advice.
TL;DR - I met another man a few months after my husband's demise. He's great. But I feel like I'm being unfaithful to my husband by going out with him. What do I do?
Edit - Guys, I think there's been a misunderstanding. Lots of people are telling me how I could fall "in love" with this person. I'm not "in love". I'm just happy being around him and would like to be around him more. Not once in my post did I mention the feeling of love.
Submitted March 16, 2022 at 12:00AM by ForsakenExtremity https://ift.tt/TApy2xG
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