Was I (23F) right to get upset with my BF (22M) for talking to his friend (who works at the restaurant) during our date?

My bf and I walked into a restaurant and he recognized the host as an old high school friend. I didn’t mind when they started a conversation because friends want to catch up, whatever. However, after being sat down and given our food, my bf’s friend came by our table to chat with him again. Again, at first I didn’t mind, but I wasn’t expecting the conversation to just go on and on for 10-15 minutes.

I felt left out because they were talking to each other and catching up about old times, so I felt like I’d be the one interrupting if I joined in. I also felt left out of the conversations because my bf never introduced me to his friend, and the friend never introduced himself, let alone ever looked at me or said “hi”. Yes I could have spoken up, but by contrast, I felt like it’d be weirder if I butted in at any point and said “Hi, I’m (bf’s name) girlfriend.” I really felt like I was invisible the entire time; my bf might as well have been on a night out alone.

It also seemed inappropriate for his friend to spend so much time talking at our table while he was on the job. (In fact, at one point the other hostess came by to tell him to handle something at the front.) Even if he wasn’t working at this restaurant, I just feel like it’s inappropriate in general to insert yourself into a situation you weren’t invited to for an extended period of time.

It felt like the friend was butting into my conversation and time with my bf, because every time he showed up to the table, our conversation would immediately halt and they would just begin talking to each other. I pretty much spent a good chunk of our dinner date on my phone. (We don’t live together or see each other often; I’d definitely react differently if I interacted with my bf every day.)

Should I have said anything? I definitely felt like my bf should have either said something or had the social awareness to speed the conversation along. I understand wanting to catch up with someone you haven’t seen in a while, but I really believe there’s a more appropriate time and place for it. If the roles were reversed, I’d probably make a joke to my friend about being out on a date and that I’d text her later. Or at the very least, at some point I would have told my friend “hey (friend) you haven’t met my bf before, this is (bf).”

My bf knows that this made me upset, and he became upset in response because he feels like he was just catching up with a friend and there’s nothing wrong with that. I agree, but I’d argue that what his friend did wasn’t the time to do it. I feel like they should have waited to communicate with each other after that night, and make their own plans to spend time together to catch up.

Neither of us are backing down from our stances to the point where I just want to drop the subject, but my bf doesn’t want to. What do I do from here?

Tl;dr- My bf and I went out to a restaurant and he recognized the host as his high school friend. The friend kept coming over to our table to talk to him, and I felt uncomfortable and shunned. Bf never introduced me to his friend, and the friend never acknowledged me or introduced himself. I became upset because instead of having a dinner date, I was on my phone and felt invisible or like a third wheel. My bf thinks I was wrong to get upset.

Submitted March 28, 2022 at 04:28PM by Goldie_dragon https://ift.tt/q9ENjWO