My partner set a boundary concerning our child. My in laws decided that I made my partner set this boundary and ignored it.

So my (27f) son (10 months) spent his first weekend away from us with my MIL (50s f) and FIL (50s m), so that my partner (31m) and I could relax a little and stuff. They’re super religious and church goers and all that and, since my partner and I aren’t religious and don’t want it in our son’s life much for a variety of reasons including just bad experiences and differing in values, we had to have a conversation about what our boundaries are surrounding it at this time. I said that for now I would be ok with our child going with them to church this morning as long as they didn’t let anyone but family hold him since we’re still in a pandemic and he’s still unvaccinated. My partner said that they still knew a lot of the people from their parents’ church and was friends with them on Facebook and saw how staunchly anti-vax they were and my partner did not want our son to be around them still being unvaccinated and having just gotten over a week of the stomach bug from daycare. My partner knows these people better than I do so I was like ok I trust you and support you in that decision, and they texted their mom/my MIL and told her that we didn’t want him going and we thought that was that. So basically in the end it was a decision made for health and safety reasons. This was yesterday that my partner texted MIL and they already had my son with them because they picked him up on Friday. We did not hear a single thing from her. No confirmation, nothing until we got to their house today to pick our son up and walked in to find him dressed in a button up shirt and khakis that I did not send with him. MIL had basically decided that I had been the one to decide that I didn’t want him going and that I had forced my partner to tell them this, so they ignored it and took him anyways. I went to the bathroom and my partner angrily said that they had told MIL that they didn’t want our son going to church and I heard her say “I know swarlossupernaturale is mad but we’ve been good grandparents and we never ask for anything, so we get this.” That statement is just so problematic for so many reasons to me, and my feelings are honestly just so so hurt. The fact that was just immediately blamed and then also ignored since my in laws thought I was to blame just upsets me so much. I thought that I had a good relationship with my MIL and my in laws in general and now that just feels like it was all faked. I don’t know. I talk to them a lot and keep them updated and included in their grandchild’s life because I know my partner doesn’t communicate with them a lot, but I don’t feel like I want to do that anymore. Am I overreacting? Does anyone have any advice on setting boundaries moving forward?

TLDR partner told in laws that they don’t want them to take our son to church. In-laws decided that I made my partner tell them this and decided to ignore it and take our son to church with them anyways.

Edit to add a couple words I accidentally left out

Submitted March 27, 2022 at 08:16PM by swarlossupernaturale https://ift.tt/YqCr4Bw