My [26F] boyfriend [27M] told me he cyber-stalked me before meeting me, and our entire relationship started based on that. I'm so confused.

I thought I had a perfect love story with my boyfriend of exactly one year. We met at a bookstore I frequent. I was in there one day, looking at some book, and he wandered over and asked me about it and it took off from there.

We dated, he always knew just what to talk to me about, he was warm and lovely, and I fell in love.

Last night we had a very nice dinner together, celebrating our one year anniversary.

After dinner, he said he had something he needed to tell me. He seemed apprehensive and it made me nervous.

He then sat down and explained to me that he basically cyber-stalked me for months before we met. He found me on social media and developed a crush based on my profile.

From keeping track of my instagram, he learned the places I liked to hang out and the things I enjoy.

And so, he started hanging out at the bookstore he saw I liked, and waited for me to show one day, and he used the info he gleaned from my profile to start talking to me about things he knew I was into.

I was practically in shock by the time he finished and I still kind of am. When he was done, he seemed happier and stated something to the effect of "now we can move forward with no secrets!"

But I was thoroughly creeped out by what he had told me. Like, the whole beginning of our relationship, that I thought was so perfect and spontaneous, was based on a manipulation by him. I barely want to think of it.

While he was telling me he was so happy to have that off his chest, I told him that it didn't work that way and I was actually shocked and troubled by his admission. I told him he needed to leave me alone for a couple days to think on it. He seemed to think we would have a laugh about it all and move on. But like, no.

He was very upset by that and argued a bit with me about it, but he left when I promised I would call him after I've had a couple days.

I just......don't know what to think. If I had found this out on the second or third date I would have told him to leave me the fuck alone and considered a restraining order.

But now we're a year in, and I do love him. Or at least, I love what I know of him, which may or may not be a mask based on what he thinks I want, as it turns out.

I hate that this happened. I want to love him, so, so bad, but I am so creeped out by what he told me, and I do not know if trust can happen with him again.

Is it possible to still have a healthy relationship with him now?

My gut tells me to run, my heart wants him, and I do not know what is right or how I feel about him this moment.

Should I run? And what do I tell him when I call him tomorrow?

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tl;dr: My boyfriend just admitted our relationship started after he cyberstalked me for months and deliberately engineered our "spontaneous" meeting. Is all hope lost?

Submitted March 18, 2022 at 10:42PM by Actual-Year-312 https://ift.tt/nMq5vl9