As the title says- I am a 38 woman who is incredibly lonely. FYI- this is not my primary account and I am on mobile. Apologies for the horrible grammar and spelling.
Background:
Years ago in college, I thought I met the love of my life. We dated for years and our families like each other. So in 2010 we became engaged and bought a house. The first month was great and then his mother moved in and everything went downhill. Prior to moving in, you would think that her and I were mother and daughter- but afterward, it was a nightmare. She wouldn't help (even though she said she would), cursed me out, and honestly it felt like walking on egg shells.
She did move out after thr minster told my fiance (at the time) that his mom needed to go- as our relationship was strained because of her and then normal relationship issues (financial, house chores, etc). We married in 2011 but honestly the damage she cause during her stay and then afterward- basically lead us to divorce in the end.
I see a therapist now because I had serveral mental breakdowns and even tried to commit suicide. My therapist even stated that when I talk about my ex-MIL, that I have symptoms of PTSD. So needless to say, that even though I'm healing- there are scars.
I have now been divorce for 5 years and separated for over 6. After the divorce and coming to terms that this was not meant to be, I started to try to start dating again. It has been a miserable process for me. Since most adults now date using dating apps/websites- I have also tried.
To say that the dating pool has been pathetic- is an understatement. Most of the men, that content me- usually want a one night stand. Others are creepy when we met for like coffee- staring at like my chest. And then others ask me weird questions- like what was wrong with me if I'm divorce.
I try these apps, get these weird men, then take a break. It's a Neverending cycle it feels. My friends tell me that I have to weed through all the frogs before you get your prince.... however I'm so discouraged that I literally just want to cry.
I'm now 38 and will be 39 in like 2-3 months. I had dreams of starting a family, but those dreams were basically killed by my ex and his mom. I also don't want to be pregnant over 40 or a single mom (my aunt has told me just to get donor sperm and knock myself up.....).
Dreams I once had seem just like that dreams. When my ex and I separated- I moved back in with my parents. I now stay with them due to mental issues (chronic migraines) and trying to go back to school for nursing.
I want a partner to enjoy life and right now- all I see nothing but jerks that only think with their lower head. I'm literally depressed because though yes I would like to have someone to be physically imitate with- I want an emotional connection as well.
Is dating apps the only way to met people (as my friends say). I mean is there any hope for me?
TL;DR 38(f) divorcee is incredibly lonely, has tried daring apps to get back into dating with miserable outcomes. Is there really no other way- is there any hope?
Submitted March 15, 2022 at 08:56PM by lonelyanddepressed38 https://ift.tt/rKO3nad
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