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My sister's husband cheated on her with a man. What do I do?

It's a very messy situation and it's been torturing me. Every day I wake up wishing I didn't know what I know.

My sister (27F) and her husband (29M), I'll call him Joe, have been in what we all believed is a beautiful, loving marriage for two years. Recently, my sister took a trip for work. They split chores and Joe is absolutely horrible at cooking, so he doesn't cook at all, even when she's not here. I wanted to surprise him and come over to cook something for him so that he doesn't have to eat take-out every day.

I parked my car around the corner of their house and got out. Their fence is concrete and you can only see through the front gate. When I got to the gate, and opened it, I loked towards the front door of the house. He was standing there, making out with another man, clearly walking him out. My instincts kicked in before I realized what I saw. I backed up and hurried back to my car where I sat shocked. A minute later, I saw the man, probably in his early twenties, walk into a another direction. I sat in my car for 20 minutes, and then I went in. He was acting completely normal and was thrilled that I came to cook him something.

I did something I'm not proud of. I went through the trashcan in their bathroom, and I found two condom wrappers. My sister is on birth control. I doubt they use them for additional safety. Asides from that, the trashcan was almost completely empty, and my sister had been gone for days at that point. I couldn't think of any other way to poke around and ask questions, so I asked him if he needs any trash taken out, and he said no, that he emptied all the trashcans the day before.

So, I could just tell my sister, right? I can't. Where we live, I don't think a single person has been prosecuted for hurting or murdering a gay/bi person. My country is very homophobic, the small town I live in is even more homophobic. My family follows traditional values.

I'm different from them. I spent four years studying in the USA. I went there as a homophobe and came back changed. I even had a brief fling with a girl while I was there, and I don't consider myself completely straight, which only my husband knows. My dad, my three brothers, they are all raging homophobes. One of my brothers participated in luring and injuring a gay prostitute, with his friends. My dad already dislikes Joe for not being traditionally masculine. If I tell my sister, there's no way it's not reaching them. She is the youngest, ever so slightly spoiled, and has a habit of running to dad.

I thought about it long. I had two days before my sister was back. There was only one option, as I refuse to endanger his life. I went to Joe and I talked to him. I tried not to corner him. I told him what I know, he got extremely defensive, aksed me to leave.

I told him to confess to my sister that he cheated, with a woman for his own safety. He said he refuses to. I told him I'll have to tell her and he said I won't. He said I'm too kind to allow myself to be responsible for someone's murder. He said that he will be truthful if she ever asks whether he cheated with a man. She'll never ask him that. Before I left I asked if he even loves my sister, if he's even attracted to her. He said of course he does and of course he is.

My sister is back now. Joe and I haven't spoken, even when we all had dinner together with our brother and his wife. I'm at a complete loss as to what I should do.

TL;DR : Sister's husband cheated on her with a man. I can't tell her because it will endanger his life.



Submitted March 24, 2022 at 12:48AM by Ok_throwaway99 https://ift.tt/Qi8AyLN
My sister's husband cheated on her with a man. What do I do? My sister's husband cheated on her with a man. What do I do? Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on March 24, 2022 Rating: 5

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