A few days ago I posted on r/relationshipadvice about a confusing situation where P (27M) asked me (25) to be his gf, but when I finally accepted a few days later, he was worried about commitment. He told me I’m the only person he talks to and wants to build on our potential. The post is now deleted but I’ll spare the details. Reddit warned me that he wasn’t committing because he didn’t want me enough.
In my head I still wanted to try and make things work, but I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t.
I went to his place so we could hang out before we went out to dinner to celebrate some good news I got. At one point he wanted to show me something on his iPad. It was open on a dating app.
He closed out and continued conversation like normal, but I couldn’t help but shut down. He asked me to say what was on my mind even though he knew what it was. He tried to explain he swipes when bored for the validation and tried to show me the messages to prove he wasn’t responding to anyone. He said he felt guilty while he was swiping and was thinking of me the entire time.
It hurt so much. I’ve never broke down in front of someone like that. While I was writing a poem about him, he was swiping on girls.
He became vulnerable and finally explained why he thought I wouldn’t like him the more I got to know him, he even cried. But I’m still hurt. He deleted the app, but I’m still hurt. I’ve been more than happy with just him, but he was looking for validation. The nail in the coffin was “if I found anything worth pursuing I would end what we have now, but I know I won’t do I don’t know why I keep swiping.”
I’m just sad… I liked him a lot. It’s been almost 4 months of taking things slowly and getting to know each other. Last week he said he wasn’t talking to anyone else. When he showed me his messages I saw one from 2 days ago…
I know this is the end. As much as I want to believe his guilt and regret, I can’t trust him. Whenever he would look at me with a smitten look or compliment me, it used to make my heart flutter, but now I just want to burst into tears…
Just venting here. I felt really connected to him. He has been an amazing friend through a traumatic time in my life. We finally made the relationship sexual after 4 months and this immediately happens. I feel worthless.
TL;DR: Reddit told me to drop a dude for not committing, found out he has been swiping on a Dating app the entire time we’ve been together
Submitted January 08, 2022 at 11:04PM by punctuationist https://ift.tt/3F68nl7
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