We dated for one year and I just broke up with him after he became cold and distant when we didn't have sex for several weeks. I was recovering from a cervical biopsy procedure for a week and then had (and possibly still have) a bacterial infection for two weeks, and I could tell the continued issues bothered him. When I confronted him, he said he was unhappy because our relationship lacked passion and intimacy. I pointed out that before my procedure, we had good, frequent sex and while I was recovering I got him off other ways, gave him massages, etc. I resented he was not more understanding and patient about something I couldn't help.
Then he said he felt like our libidos were too different and that it's weird that I can live without sex. He has a very high libido and needs to cum at least once a day. This was the first time we couldn't have sex for an extended period while we still met. He has childhood trauma, insecurity, and rejection issues, and I think he needs sex to feel secure in our relationship and connected to me.
I really enjoy sex with him and did it almost every time we met, sometimes initiating multiple times a day with him. But his libido can be annoying -- he can't sleep at night bc of boners, he talks frequently of sex and gropes me, etc. I thought I could handle his libido and we agreed to compromise with sex three times a week at least, but he still was unhappy about my libido (average IMO) and felt I didn't desire him. The procedure and infections did affect me mentally and my libido temporarily, but I was willing to have sex as soon as I was normal.
We had a number of other problems, like poor communication. He doesn't take criticism or different opinions well and gets angry and shuts down the conversation when I try to explain how my feelings got hurt, for example his coldness and lack of patience this time. He doesn't really apologize or want to discuss how to fix our issues. This was the final straw and we broke up bc I felt he was so selfish and unreasonable and he would not be supportive in the future.
Tl;Dr Broke up with my high libido boyfriend bc he was not patient when we couldn't have sex due to health issues. Was he a jerk or was his unhappiness about our different libidos understandable?
Submitted January 24, 2022 at 01:53PM by DullDishwater https://ift.tt/3H4jLjs
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